Dating : Always wrong timing with a girl?
To start I am 16 and I’m going to make this as mature as I possibly can.
So I’ve talked to this girl for probably 4 months now and we started off doing shit and rushed it pretty hard to the point where I couldn’t anymore and put less into everything with her and she obviously picked up on it and i told her I could not go on with it being this fast and I kind of drifted from her and about a week later started talking to someone else her age and that went on for about 3 weeks but I had to end things due to her making up excuses to not hangout or talk over the phone/FaceTime. Stuff like that causes me to just remove them from my life because I put the effort in and got that back In return. I was still talking to the first girl as friends during this so then we started talking again and we took it way slower which came natural between us this time and I liked it a lot. Yesterday her, a friend of hers, my buddy and I all spent the night at one of their houses while their parents were away and my buddy and the other girl are dating so it was a nice group with what was going on. Nothing extreme happened between us that night and I thought everything was great until she talked to me today and said how she felt and said we should further talk about it in person and that’s what I did, we sat there for almost 2 hours going over it all and laying out what we both want it to be. We agreed on becoming closer friends to make the future stronger which is the best thing we could do. She has things going on in her life and I respect it 110% but it was almost her leading me on. I can’t say much seeing how I jumped from her to another girl and back fast which I’ve found myself doing once before. 99% of the time with girls it ends up with the timing not being right and I just don’t understand it at all, whether I was getting close and almost dating or actually being in a relationship it always ends up with the timing being wrong.
I’m just in frustration seeing how this ends up the same every time.
If you read this all thank you, I appreciate it and feel free to leave your advice on this.
You said you respect that she has things going on. I feel it’s clear that you don’t. You dont know what she has going on, you haven’t asked and therefore you felt led on. It seems like you don’t have as much going on for you, so it’s not convenient for you, so it always seems like « wrong timing ». Take a moment and ask her. What’s your day like and don’t take no 1 liner for an answer. Ask her what’s her schedule like. I don’t know if it seems stalkerish but if she’s your best friend she’ll probably oblige. If she asks why just tell her I’m trying to figure some things out on my own and your experience would help. I feel like even the best of us have trouble with empathy and putting our selves in other people’s shoes and have to be reminded that we’re not all mind readers. Hope this helps.
It’s not the timing, it’s the guy who approaches her.