Dating : Am I being crazy?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over four months, and we met last year late august. We had always been ‘talking’ romantically and in our early days he would swear that I was the only person he was interested in at the time but I would constantly see him talking to other women the same way he would talk to me on social media. He had the expectation that it was okay for him to do that, but I wasn’t allowed to even compliment any of my male friends without him getting upset and starting an argument. It made me feel very insecure and we were on / off for a few months before we actually got together in February of this year. He has since mostly stopped doing that but I know that he’s still friends with and actively texts the women he would call sexy, hot, his ‘wife’. Whenever I see him interacting with them on social media it really upsets me and I don’t know if it’s unreasonable of me to feel that way. I don’t know how to tell him about it either because every time I try to bring it up he gets angry. I think what I’m feeling is retroactive jealousy, or at least something close enough to that, because when he brings up his female friends it reminds me of how he treated me before we started dating and it’s not a particularly pleasant feeling at all. Am I crazy for being upset over him still keeping in contact with people he possibly most likely had romantic interest in before we officially started dating?
Big red flag to me and I don’t even have dating experiences
He’s essentially training you to be okay with it. Which is not okay.
He’s creating a double standard, where he can flirt with others but you cannot. Having a previous romantic interest in someone is one thing, but continued flirting is another. I say run. And run fast.
If he is super anxious about you complimenting other guys, it’s because he knows his own mindset when he is complimenting other girls and fears that you are thinking the same. So when he sees you compliment someone he’s afraid you’ll cheat, cause that’s probably exactly what he would do given the opportunity.
It’s not unreasonable for you to feel that way. He’s disrespecting you and his response is a huge red flag. You already tried to communicate how you’re feeling and he’s manipulating you into thinking you’re in the wrong.
I think you should leave before it gets worse.
Baby , it sounds like you need to lay down the law . This is clearly something that is bothering you . Are you afraid of what the result will be if you speak up ? Bump him getting angry , if you can’t be vulnerable and express yourself to someone you’re dating is that a relationship you want to last a lifetime ?
And I agree he is training you too be ok with it . You know what you deserve , and this isn’t okay at all . So no , you’re not crazy .
Hahahah nope. I have 3 guy best friends and as soon as they’re in a relationship, all the “okay love you” heart emojis, outfit checks, or late night facetimes stopped. By their choice. Their girls didn’t ask them to do anything. I didn’t know one friend had gotten in a relationship and I had two tickets to see Stephen Colbert. I asked if he wanted to come and he said “no I don’t hang out one on one with girls anymore when I date.” Not that I was even attracted to him- but good for him for having boundaries and just wanting to avoid any relationship problems altogether.
Your guy is conditioning you to be okay with his behavior, and will break you down slowly calling you “insecure” “jealous” etc. so you end up thinking it’s your fault and you’re being crazy. And making sure you don’t talk to any guys/ isolating you so he never has to worry about getting cheated on. This guy isn’t gonna change by the way- even if you give an ultimatum. They will just get sneaky- block girls and unblock them, make a different account all together. Save yourself the constant headache and worries and leave
Run away, don’t walk, don’t jog, run like your life depends on it. Your boyfriend is a psychopath. Seriously, your story sounds exactly the same as the story of every beaten wife, and wives of serial killers. Just run away and save yourself, and your future children a life of misery.