Dating : Am I being dramatic??
I (28F) went for a date a few days ago with a guy (28M). We went for a walk around town and then dinner after.
Our conversation was good and we spoke for about a month before we met (slightly annoying for me as I don’t like to leave it that long to go on a date but fine – I wasn’t bothered too much as conversation was good) we work for similar companies too (top 5 in consultancy, important to the situation as it’s good pay)
First off he turned up 30 mins late, I was annoyed but they didn’t know where they were going so I gave them BOD. Turned up and he smelt, like damp clothing. Instantly turned off by this and he had stuff all over his face and I pointed it out – he shrugged and didn’t bother to fix.
Went for the walk and still made good conversation to try to deter my thoughts on the smell.
Then it came to dinner, we went to order and he asked what came free or what deals were on. Now the menu was cheap anyway because he asked for somewhere close and not too extravagant. We’re talking £10 for a meal MAX. The woman looked at me and I wanted to crawl in a hole, she then said can get certain sides free. They asked for water as it was free, so I did too, as I felt I couldn’t order anything else. Please note; I offered to pay as I don’t mind paying for myself or even going halves – they refused and acted like it was ridiculous for me to make such a suggestion.
The food was awful and I didn’t enjoy it. After this the conversation became slightly uncomfortable and I then became quiet.
I was telling my friend about this and she said I’m being dramatic and that this is how dates are these days. Which, from my experience, are not that way at all. She also said I was being stuck up about the food situation but as a food fan (and the person knowing this) I’m particular on good food. Have I behaved in a stuck up manner, as my friend suggested? Is this what it’s like for some out there? I’ve not experienced this before and now I just feel slightly set back… and this is something I don’t want to come across in dates in the future.
No, where you messed up was continuing the date after he smelled and had stuff on his face. You already were done, so I’m not sure why you tortured yourself. Even after the walk, you went out to eat with him.
Does your friend like paying/going on dates with homeless people? He showed up late, smelly and dirty and couldn’t afford the meal.
If it were *only* a case of the food being bad, your friend would have a point. But… this wasn’t really about the food, was it? The guy was damp, smelly, and unclean. And he was both miserly yet controlling of the financial situation.
If that’s a typical date for your friend, she needs to raise her standards. You certainly don’t need to lower yours.
I can imagine any number of situations in which a person could wind up damp and unclean while being a perfectly dateable person. The only one that involves showing up to the date without *fixing* that first is them getting soup spilled on them as they enter the restaurant. Since you didn’t see that happen, I think you’re probably in the clear.