Dating : Am I hopeless? Introvert doesn’t know where to start
Cliffnotes: 35/M/FL whose last relationship ended over 10 years ago and hasn’t had anything even remotely close to a date in over 5 years
I’m relatively shy but friendly; I have good friends (all of whom are now married with at least 1 kid), but I don’t know where to even start. I don’t have a lot of « social » interaction outside of work or my small circle of friends (and the time with the small circle keeps dwindling as they move away and spend more time with their own families) so there isn’t a lot of natural opportunity to meet someone.
Tried a couple of dating sites, and though I think I realistically have average/decent looks and my taste in women is relatively broad, I’m not a good sales guy and haven’t had much (read:any) luck or even interaction on any of the sites. Honestly it’s at the point where it’s been so long that I don’t know what to say to a woman I’m interested in, and it’s even worse when all I can think about is how big a waste of time it all ends up being anyway. It’s disheartening.
So again, I find myself with my dating profiles deleted and just a bit less unhappy that I’m not trying, as opposed to « trying » and failing miserably.
Are people like me just not made to be in a pair? Is there a method better suited for my kind that I haven’t stumbled across? How do you guys come up with all the different messages that women find worthy to respond to?
Anyway, thanks for reading this « probably nothing but a vent » post and am open to advice.
I’m an introvert. It can actually be an advantage in dating although some people might think you’re aloof. That’s ok, you don’t have to be everything to everybody. I recommend going to church. There tends to be lots of nice single women there. I recommend not focusing much on dating apps.
Shy and introverted are not the same thing. Figure out which one you really are. Introvert is a person that just needs to get away from the crowd to emotionally recharge, while the extrovert needs to find a crowd to be with in order to recharge. Other than that an introvert is perfectly normal and can be fully confident.
Introvert is a personality type that is permanent.
« Shy » is learned behavor and can be unlearned, it mostly stems from low-confidence.
What can you do otherwise? Go to [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) and create an account, then find Meetup Groups in your area that interest you and build a social life from that.
Get off dating apps. Its cancer.