Dating : are guys attracted to their female friends?
my guy best friend told me that most straight guys will not maintain a friendship with a girl unless they find her attractive. is this true? what does this say about my friend?
in Dating
my guy best friend told me that most straight guys will not maintain a friendship with a girl unless they find her attractive. is this true? what does this say about my friend?
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I’m a man. I’ve female friends who I find attractive. I have female friends who I don’t find attractive.
For me, if I get along with a woman and circumstances align we can be friends. I would say that I’d have a tough time making friends with a woman who’s so attractive I’m instantly infatuated with her, as my emotions would be too intense to manage. I would also probably avoid engaging with women I find completely unattractive. Most of my female friends are probably people I find « moderately attractive », I may have first approached them with dating them in mind, but they weren’t attractive enough to hold my interest, but I did find their company entertaining enough to want to hang out.
Your friend is absolutely ridiculous, but he’s not alone.
That attitude boils down to « women don’t mean anything to me if I can’t maybe fuck them one day ».
Can’t look into a guy’s head. But from personal experience: I lost a lot of guy friends after either one of us got into a relationship, after I got out of a relationship and they wanted to start sleeping with me, or after they confessed their love for me and got rejected. Therefore I do think a good portion of men befriend women, hoping some day it will become something else.
That being said, I am also positive not every guy is like this. Other guy friends have been amazing friends for a very long time.
As for your friend: I would ask your guy friend what *he* thinks it says about your friendship if he only befriends women he is attracted to.
No it defenitely is not true, dont generalize all men. I (31y m) have definitely more female friends than male friends. I consider them all to be not attractive for me. Neither dateble nor fuckable!
Lets consider your guy best friend as straigth male. Your friend is just a dick. You should have immediatly asked him if he would be your friend if you gained 50 pounds or greet your face with a lawnmower,
I know plenty of men that are friends with girls they don’t find attractive. These generalizations are silly, not everything is about sex all the time, some people genuinely like others friendships. It’s unfair to think men don’t think of anything deeper than attraction. So, I don’t think it’s true, no.
I can say my female friends are objectively attractive, but I don’t want to date or sleep with them. If we vibed that well, we would be dating.
Nonsense, it is entirely common to be platonic with the opposite gender of all attractiveness.
You can be friends with someone without being attracted to her. My best girl friend is super attractive, but i didn’t become friends with her because of that, we have alot of things in common so we feel very comfortable with each other. I have other friends that i spend alot of time with that I’m not attracted to, i still like them alot tho.
Pretty much always, yes. Can confidently generalize this one.
Most are. Usually if you’re not attractive to them, they won’t make the effort to befriend you unless you need to work together in some way. Rarely do I ever see an attractive straight guy with an ugly female best friend but I’ve seen the other way around a lot. I used to be unattractive and barely had guy friends (that I didn’t meet through being in the same class), but after I glowed up the next year, it was much easier to make more with a similar personality. I also noticed many guy friends tend to disappear when my female friends enter serious relationships, and it’s not like my female friends put in any less effort into the friendship. It’s that they’re no longer a potential girlfriend or hookup to their male friends anymore. I would say the exception is if you meet them when you’re in a relationship so the boundaries are already clear, you’re not each other’s type,met them when you were kids, are related to them, are friends of their SOs, or were forced to get to know each other through work or group projects.
I do think a lot of men find their female friends attractive, especially if they happen to be attractive, and it’s kind of something you accept that if you’re in close proximity to a male friend then he has quite likely masturbated over you, even if he doesn’t have any particular attraction to you. If you were bending over in yoga pants that may have been sexy enough that you’ve popped up in his head during his special time. I try not to think about it and I don’t think it’s anything to do with them actively being interested. However, plenty of men are friends with women they have no attraction towards. People in general are more inclined to befriend pretty people with warm friendly faces regardless of attraction. But even really ugly people usually have friends of both genders.
most men will have sex with their female friends at the drop of a hat.
My female friends are basically sisters to me. But I don’t tend to find many people attractive
That person is wrong, however it is still extremely common to be attracted to many or most friends at some point even if thinking it is a « requirement » is still bogus.
I don’t think that’s true at all but I mean If they’re attractive then they know they are attractive but that doesn’t really mean anything if that’s what you’re asking.
I have friends that are attractive but I won’t ask them out because they other characteristics I know don’t align with me.
Well, this one is kinda hard. During collage me (m28) was 23 at the time, only had girls for friends. Like in a group of 8, there were 2 guys, me included, and the other was gay. Some of them I only saw them pretty much as sisters and treates them as such. No second motives, no nothing, just pure brotherhood. But there were exceptions. One I did find her very pretty and even if there had been a chance I’d have made a move on her. Like, we were very close, but in a friends only way, but part of me did wish we could be more. Than there was another one that I did fall in lovr with, but I never acted on it, I always kept the friendship and the group first. But the other ones, in the group it was friendship like if it was with a group of guys, go out together, have fun and no second intentions.
This is not true. I have some female friends I find attractive and some I don’t find attractive. Just like I have male friends that are attractive and some who are unattractive.
Contrary to popular belief, opposite genders can be just platonic friends.
generally what your friend said is true unless the guy is not single and especially if you are not single also.
the only legitimate and longterm friendship i had with a woman was one i had previously dated, so the motive was gone
It’s one thing to see your friends and think they’re good-looking and attractive. It’s another to only base the possibility of being friends with them if they’re attractive. I have guy friends that I think are attractive, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them. My guy friends would probably say the same about me and their other friends.
In short, your friend’s a creep and only views women as potential mates and only worth keeping around for that possibility.
I’m personally not. All my female friends I’m specifically not attracted to. I just like hanging out with them.
> are guys attracted to their female friends?
Generally, yes.
> most straight guys will not maintain a friendship with a girl unless they find her attractive.
I’m not sure about « most »… but there are plenty of guys are friends with women they don’t find attractive. Keep in mind people in general tend to surround themselves with people they find attractive, but that’s not the same thing as actual interest in them.
That makes no sense to me. If a guy finds his girl friend attractive, thats not really friendship. I think guys can be friends with girls they are NOT attracted to, not the other way around. Imagine having a girl you are attracted to talking to you about guys she likes. There are, of course, exceptions to everything.
Bear in mind, a guy can be friends with a pretty girl but not attracted to her. Everyone has different things they are attracted to.
I have 9 sisters I dont need/want anymore feminine energy. As a result I don’t have female friends (outside of 2 lesbians I know). If we are not trying pursing each other we will be strangers/acquaintances.