Dating : Are men really into girls who act « hard to get » even if they are interested in him too?

Dating : Are men really into girls who act « hard to get » even if they are interested in him too?

Personally I have never met a man who claimed this was the case in my entire life. I’m a guy and have had honest guy talks with about 30~ friends over the years from varying circumstances and backgrounds and all of them actually seem to think that being « easy to get » is actually a more attractive trait so long as it’s exclusive to you (i.e., not slutty)

Read also  Dating : Why do girls try to bait me into a LTR withholding sex when they have already slept with 10+ guys?

What do you think?

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  1. Absolutely fucking not. I will lead the relationship as in planning dates, contacting you first, initiating physical touch, but I will just drop you if you reject my advances for a date. I’m not spending time « winning you over » by « fighting for you » when I can just go talk to another girl.

  2. I can’t speak for all, but I don’t think so. I had a major crush on a girl I had a fling with (fling lasted months, I’m pretty sure she was interested in me too) because she’s just a straight up awesome person other than the fact she would constantly play games like hard to get. We are both in our late twenties. I don’t understand the need to do this. I ended up giving up on her because it was too frustrating to deal with

  3. No, I don’t like a girl who is « hard to get ». I don’t know any man who likes it. Men like forwardness and directness. Straight to the point, no bullshit.

  4. It’s not attractive when someone PLAYS hard to get. But it’s usually attractive when someone is not too available. As in not being desperate and having a life of your own.

  5. No it’s annoying. I’m always straight forward with girls I like once I can tel they like me and vice versa and if it doesn’t work then oh well but I don’t see the point of playing hard to get and possibly turning a guy you like away

  6. Nobody likes games. Be straight forward with the guy you’re into if he’s into you. I’ve always played the long game in my dating, but I don’t necessarily like when someone plays hard to get, I like it when they make me earn it.

  7. from purely a psychology perspective, things that are ‘scarce’ (ie: hard to get) are subconsciously considered more valuable. Of course, people will say they hate the ‘hard to get’ trait, and on an intellectual level that is true. However, there is a part of our psyche that tells us when something is harder to get it will be more valuable or important.

  8. Depends on the guy but i dont like when women play hard to get. I appreciate honesty because if you dont seem interested and you’re not straight forward, then ill start to think you’re not interested and ill move on. But thats just me, hopefully this helps!

  9. What do you see as the difference between being direct and honest versus easy and needy? I feel like there is a fine line there and some women maybe don’t understand the difference.

  10. I think sometimes people confuse « hard to get » with, « making him work for it ». Make em’ work for it, but acting like you’re not interested is something a 16 year old would do. How’s the song go? « Women seem wicked, when you’re unwanted. »

  11. Nope, if I like you and you like me then what the hells the problem? Everyone has reservations, especially when its a new relationship but gtfo with the games.

  12. If i want to play games i would start my pc and heat up something from steam. So an answer to your question is no. I don’t like thees hard to get games. Too childish for me. If someone starts doing that i would just walk away, life is too short and i have better things to do.

  13. No « hard to get » is just a bad way of saying « leading an interesting life that other people want to be a part of. » Don’t blow people off to seem more disinterested. Live your best life with a schedule that fits it, and make time for other people because you’re interested but sometimes unavailable.

    For example, I was dating a doctor. I said, hey, let’s go get drinks on Saturday! And she said no, she can’t because she’s volunteering at a camp for kids with autism spectrum disorders that day, so how about Tuesday instead?

    Did she shoot me down? Yes. Did it make me like her more? Also yes. Was she disinterested in me or getting wine? No…but she was more interested in helping kids with autism that particular day. She showed she was interested enough to reschedule and I didn’t feel slighted.

  14. It’s a combination of the societal expectation of guys having to be aggressors and then that guys are always trying to go for girls that are a little hotter than they are. You end up with this advice kind of at the core of that. It’s probably outdated. Leave it in Grease. At least those are my takes.

  15. As long as the girls are showing some interest and going out on dates with me, it’s fine if they “play hard to get” in the beginning. But if they keep it up after weeks and months of dating, it’ll become exhausting and I would look elsewhere

  16. To be clear I hate playing games but when they’re way too available it’s also kind of a turn off. Just be cool, and act like a normal human being it’s not that hard

  17. Some girls would try to make me jealous with another guy. I hear this is a thing. All this does is upset me and make me leave. This happened multiple times so I asked some local people (as I’m new to this area). They explained the girls do that to panic you into going for them and hook up a kinda in the moment thing. I’ll probably just be offended again.

  18. It’s a turn off; If there are 2 girls, all else equal and one doesn’t act interested…What’s the logical choice here? I think a little bit of playfulness is fine but I’ve met some girls (who have been single for a long time) definitely takes it way too far.

  19. Please don’t. Us men are dumb creatures. We can easily take your hints and not harrass you. But we can’t do that AND realize that some of yall are playing hard to get.
    We’re trying not to be assholes here, don’t confuse us, lol.

  20. If she is acting like she is not interested then I don’t pursue. It’s bad enough I miss the obvious signals girls give me now I gotta pay attention to ones that don’t give me any signals?!?!?!

  21. That’s super fucking annoying shit that teenagers in high school pull off. When your an adult, it comes off as just using the guy, to buy you free crap, and you never give anything to the relationship. I’m not just talking about sex. Guys want love and affection too! To be encouraged and validated. Because we want to do right by our woman. Especially if it mean keeping her around.

    I personally can only take so much ball-busting, courting, and gift giving before I’m checking out of the relationship.

  22. No. You want to play hard to get to test my enthusiasm? What other BS tests are you going to randomly throw at me?

    Pass. Hard pass. (I’m M45)

  23. In my experience after 30 years of dating, men like a challenge. Being easy to get makes them feel less special and like they are just one of many. Playing games is for
    Children but throwing yourself at a man is not sexy

  24. In my experience, men say they want you to show interest but when you do, they get disinterested because it’s not a challenge. One even told me he wants what he can’t have and if he knows he can he gets bored. I never show interest first because what men say and what they do always seem to be two different things. If you like them it must be because you’re either desperate or a slut. I don’t think of my not showing interest first as a game, just more about not going where I’m not welcome.

  25. Play hard to get or acting disinterested is the fastist way to loose me. I’m not wasting my time with some one who may or may not be interested.

  26. Women do this because they want to know the guy is putting in an effort. This makes us feel valued. A girl that is « easy to get » usually doesn’t have the greatest reputation either, FYI.

  27. Shits dumb imo. Yeah you can have some boundaries like not sleeping together on the first date. But acting like you don’t want a guy when you do is high school games. This is the real world now. People hook up without knowing names. People tell people straight up how they feel, good or bad.

    Don’t like women who play games.

  28. I cannot stand someone who can’t be straight with me. So no I don’t like the hard to get bullshit. I’m just going to assume she’s not interested.

  29. Yes! A great man will always love a great challenge. I’m not saying that I’m a great man, I’m just guessing that’s what a great man will enjoy.

  30. Never understood why people play hard to get and the fact that some guys actually like that in a woman is even more strange to me.

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