Dating : Are you constantly looking for something better??

Dating : Are you constantly looking for something better??

If you are dating/in a relationship….No matter how good you have it, how amazing your partner is… Lets say you have a beautiful woman, takes care of herself, good heart, fun to be with, shows you love and attention but also gives you the space you need, easy to get along with, loves to have sex with, does sweet things for you…. are you constantly comparing her in your head to other women? This one has bigger boobs, a flatter stomach, a nicer butt? Do all men really have desires for other women even when they are happy with their partner? Always looking to see if there is something better or do you ever reach that contentment where you know and are just happy with what you have?

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What do you think?

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  1. This is exactly what I do when I start dating someone, and it’s extremely toxic, at least for me. In my experience, scouting for these flaws in your significant other is simply trying to find the « perfect » person for you to spend the rest of your life with, which as I now understand is impossible (I’ll explain why). This behaviour has impacted the relationships I had in the past quite dramatically. I even broke up with people because I created these false ideologies in my head of what they should or should not do/be.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you have to ignore all the flaws that you see in the other person, what I just recently understood is that when you truly love someone, you fall in love with their flaws as well as their good parts. And as I mentioned, it’s impossible to find that « perfect » someone, all of us have our own flaws, so in essence, there’s truly no way to find that perfect person, only to see them as one, understanding that flaws are what makes them perfect just as much as their fine points.

  2. I’ve definitely met a few people who are 100% satisfied with their partner and don’t look elsewhere. So it is achievable.

    I’m also not a man but I would imagine there is a percentage of men out there who don’t actively « compare » their partner to others in the way you describe. It sounds very hollow and my experience of guys is that there are men out there who don’t view women in terms of a hierachy of comparison but actually value them as humans, be it aesthetically and personally/emotionally/intellectually.

  3. About 10% of the population are maximizers, who are always looking for the best possible. The rest are satisficers, who are happy with the good enough, and once they have it, don’t look for anyone or anything better. So it’s just the maximizers who are doing these comparisons.

  4. I’ve personally never felt satisfied with any one person and so have identified that I’m poly. Either that or I have brain damage… hard to tell sometimes. I wish I could lower my standards.

  5. I just want someone that makes me happy. Right now I’m talking to a girl I really like. She isn’t my usual type, but I like enough about her that I’m considering taking her seriously. I don’t like looking – it’s a burden to me. I find a lot of girls that are this or that but few have treated me better. She’s a bit big, a little nerdy, and has a mediocre job, but I never feel challenged, on edge, or sorry for spending time with her. I’ve dated a lot of cute girls that were horrible people and always making me compete or forcing me to react. She’s just chill: I really appreciate that. So I only keep looking if there’s a need. If my needs are satisfied, I’m content.

  6. I think you’re confusing the top 20% of men with the rest of us.

    Most men just want a women they find attractive physically and personality wise. They don’t monkey brunch to the next hottest girl unless they have thousands of options.

    Women however have thousands of options and are more likely to do what you posted.

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