Dating : Basic little things for a dating noob
I’m really nervous about some small things. I am a man if that is relevant Like I dunno if it’d be better to sit beside them or across. If you sit beside them do you sit on the inside or outside, say of a booth. Is it better to go to an activity or a food place on the first date? And why is one better than the other if you think one is in your opinion. If it’s better to go on an activity date for the first one, how do you pick an activity? first time poster, thank you to everyone in advance. If this sort of thing is posted somewhere else, I didn’t know.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s better to try to sit across from each other for eye contact and such. You can do a fun activity or get some food, it’s up to you. If you’re going to pick something, make suggestions and if you agree upon that, then get a set time. Don’t overthink it.!
First of all, take a few deep breaths. Relax.
Sit across, then you can look at each other while talking.
Coffee is a good start, you can always turn it into “would you like to go for a walk?” Or “join me lunch?” if you’re feeling it. A full meal is too much- if one of isn’t feeling it, it’s easier and cheaper to exit from coffee.
Most importantly, plan something fun you would enjoy regardless. Just have fun. There’s way less pressure than you’re imagining.
You’ll do great.
Read Coach Corey Wayne’s 3% Man and look at some of his content, it has helped me a tonne.
Your post to me just says your overthinking this way way too much, if it’s your first time meeting/dating this girl, make it so she does not feel trapped, such as letting her sit closest to the restaurant door, easiest access out of the booth etc. unless if she chooses said seat to be more shut in etc.
Let them do 80% of the talking, ask them questions about themselves, and listen to it so you can refer back to it later if you want to question her about something she said or if she tests you by asking a question to you about what she has said. If she asks you a question, you keep it brief and don’t try to elevate your status, and you try to quickly return back to asking her questions.
Said questions should be unintrusive, unless if something she has said that you can ask more about (stay away from talking about past relationships etc, if she asks you a question that warrants a somewhat negative answer put a postivie spin on it, such as on how did it help you grow).
Just have fun with it, and plan to do something else afterwards (like go for a walk, see something local, do minigolf etc) to make it more into a set of minidates spread out.
Anyway, just don’t go with the mindset that « I don’t deserve to date you » as she will pick up on it and it’ll make you more nervous.
None of it really matters. If you’re thinking this hard, you’re gonna fuck it up your first few times anyway. Just do what feels right and self-reflect after each failure.
1. I try to sit next to my dates, and I don’t typically take my dates to restaurants. Sitting next to your date is better (imo) because you get to be closer to your date, and sitting across from each other at a booth can feel like an interview. Usually I arrive a couple minutes early and get a seat at the bar, or a table with a view.
2. Food dates are generally boring dates, as well as expensive. First dates should be coffee/tea/drinks. Cheap, easy to find a place, and its easy for either person to leave if the date sucks. Activity dates are good after you have met them and are sure you want to do an activity with them. Some of my personal favorites are comedy clubs and live jazz shows.
All the said, I would recommend picking a place you have been wanting to go, and invite her to come with you.
Yo chill bro!!! Just fucking chill!!!
Dating and meeting new people is supposed to be fun! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
If you overthink it you will forget to leave in the moment when the date happens.
Sit where you feel comfortable enough. Just a drink is great for a first date (easier to leave if things turn out bad)
You should always be yourself, don’t be afraid to say that you are nervous. I find it much simple to deal with my emotions by sharing them. For instance « I’m sorry if I am a bit nervous, I am not used to this stuff. But I am really glad that we get to spend time together »
Also if the date is going well and you know you have some things you like to do in common you came plan something together « it could be nice to do… Next time »