Dating : Boyfriend leaves immediately after sex
Been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and noticed that after sex he immediately leaves. I’ve asked before why he does this and I get the response of “Just human nature and inbuilt within us as males” and “I don’t like to sleep with other people, I did the same with my ex”. I told him that this hurts me and leaves me more broken and insecure everytime and that I’m not an “ejaculate and evacuate” type of biatch.
Not really sure what to do, any help would be much appreciated.
Edit: we don’t have much sex as usually we just watch Netflix or talk or go to places together when we’re both free (which isn’t a lot as we both work and study).
Honest opinion: if you really cared about him and he cares about you, you both should sit down and really talk about how uncomfortable it makes you. If he still feels that way, maybe reconsider te relationship. Also, where the hell did he get that idea that all guys do that and it’s their nature? I’m a dude but I would never pull that stunt (Always been cuddling type after sex) on someone I care about.
Why not just go « OK, cool .. but it’s against female nature, so take care! »
There is an episode in two and a half men about this. Charlie used to do it but when she did it to him. He could not handle it.
If sleeping together is something you really need from a partner- me, I prefer it- then his refusal might be a dealbreaker. But if it isn’t, then you’ve got options. You want to hang out and cuddle a bit. Maybe take a shower together. Watch a little Netflix, now that the chill is taken care of. Then, after you’ve gotten some afterplay, he’s free to bounce.
The way things are now, you feel like a used Kleenex- he knows it- and it’s *highly* disrespectful for him to toss out a lame excuse and split anyway. If he gets his nut and then has no more use for you, then it might be time to look for a better boyfriend.
Edit: typo and clarity
Not sure how to help, it’s true that sometimes the urge comes up but I would just fall asleep right away.
Yea all of my ex’s made me sleep over after sex, they gave me a ultimatum, no sleepover no sex. This was way before 6 months too.
I’ve always had problems sleeping with other people in the same bed, so I can understand that issue. However, there are possible workarounds to this. A bed in another room, or a couch, maybe? Won’t be the same as being side to side but at least he’s there somewhere. (I’ve slept in the same bed with my girlfriend for years, but the only deep sleep I get is when she gets up very early to go to work.)
Sounds like he doesn’t really love you. As I guy I had this problem but I could never figure out why I was like that. Looking back I realised I was just a horny guy and there was no love (first relationship for me)
It depends on. Maybe what he said is true. Your only solution would be to see other times when you are together and not having sex. How does he treat you ? Does he care about you ? Does he care about your feelings ? If he cares and treats you all good like a princess then have some understanding for him. If not he sees you as an object for sex then leave this guy. That’s how I see it.
Maybe after you two had sex, you can ask him to give you a massage so he stays with you or you give him one. Good luck and stay strong
He sounds like someone who is struggling with intimacy. It could be that he’s never had a seriously open and intimate relationship before and he doesn’t know how, or maybe he has other intimacy issues. To me that doesn’t seem « normal ». After me and my boyfriend have sex, my boyfriend wants to literally cuddle all night (including me sleeping over) or at least have me there next to him for another 30 mins-1 hr. We’ll both even fall asleep together. But my boyfriend doesn’t have those intimacy issues, he craves it. Your boyfriend sounds like he either doesn’t know what he wants with you or he has walls up. You should ask him to elaborate further and tell him this is something that is not OK for you and you want to come to a solution.
DIG DEEP.
Sounds like he’s got a “mutual masturbation” belief around this. A lot of guys don’t want to stick around after sex. I can’t speak for them on this matter. From my own experience, if he’s emotionally available for you, he will. If not, he won’t. Sex isn’t the same for men as it is for women, generally speaking. Yes, there are overlaps. And some men take it much more seriously than a woman can ever imagine.
From what you’re saying, I hear him making it clear that he’s just not willing to be an emotional sponge for you. If that’s a need, you both may benefit to reconsider and find someone who is more emotionally compatible with you. Or make it your business to adjust reasonably and accordingly.
It’s beneficial if both of you feel like you’re winning with each other.
Have that honest conversation, not just with him, but also with yourself. Take it upon yourself to understand his feedback. What is it about him sticking around that you need? He could be a jerk, he could be making a valid point. Only honesty and time can reveal that. Good luck.
Tbh, it doesn’t sound like your “boyfriend” is all that into you. Have you guys actually had the discussion about whether you’re actually boyfriend/girlfriend?
How is your relationship like with him otherwise?
He sounds like a douche in all honesty
It not human nature. I do it when I just want to have sex but don’t really like the person. I could be with someone all day and not have sex with them if I really enjoy myself with them. Your being used.
Sounds like he’s just using you.
Lol he isn’t your boyfriend if he leaves immediately after sex. His response is bullshit he’s a fuckboi. Lol so obvious, get what you want and take off.
Ummmm? He can’t really blame that on male nature since not every guy does this. Is it common, sure! But none of my sexual partners have done this so he can’t really say it’s a biological behavior. Relationships mean compromises and he could at least sit there and kiss some more or something.
Well, what else is he supposed to do? Hang out and talk about « feelings »? Fuck all that nonsense.