Dating : Can anybody who have experienced or known about dating with a Christian?
So I meet this girl in my first year of college and we have been talking a lot since. I wanted to ask her out on a date but I am hesitating on the problem of sex. I am not Christian and I am not saying that I only want to date her because of sex. NO NO NO. I love her personality and I can definitely feel the connection between us, but in my opinion regardless of all the other stuff, sex is an important part of a relationship. Is sex before marriage consider like a sin or something u shouldn’t do for Christian? Ty!!
Just talk to her about it and see what her viewpoints are. Christians have varying ideas of what premarital sexual activity is. Some people are okay with everything except PIV sex and other people won’t even want to touch each other over the clothes. You will even find some who don’t want to kiss before marriage.
So you really have to talk to her to see what her view point is.
but the most important thing for you is don’t pressure her to do something she’s not comfortable to do. and if she isn’t ready for it and you are, then you have to find somebody else who matches you
It really depends on your point of view.
Technically…yes, the Bible says that you should wait before marriage before having sex. Practically, however, you’re betting half of your stuff that you’ll love someone forever, WITHOUT knowing all of the information.
The way I see it, sex and living together shouldn’t be a problem if you’re in a committed relationship with plans to eventually get married. Bouncing from partner to partner would be something, I’d imagine, God frowns upon, which is why it’s in the Bible.
But what if you wait until you’re married, and then discover that you or your partner doesn’t enjoy having sex? Now one or both of you are stuck in a loveless relationship that’s doomed to failure.
All that being said, at the end of the day, it’s gonna be her decision. Run it by her and see what she thinks.
ask her her viewpoints on sex
I am a Christian and have chosen not to have sex until I am married. The primary reason I have made this decision is because I prefer that it be something I only give to the person who is willing to commit to me should I become married. Dating me for a few months then dumping me is not enough. It is my opinion that waiting to have sex makes for a stronger marriage and more intimate relationship. I don’t want to have to carry the baggage of past intimate relationships into a future marriage. I see the main purpose of dating to be determining whether someone is the right fit as a spouse. Sex makes this more difficult as it serves as a distraction. People often end up in relationships because they enjoy the sex not because it is a quality relationship. If a couple is able to stay together for over a year simply because they enjoy each others company then that is a great sign the relationship can last many years. Given that we are likely to spend most of our lives with the person that we marry, it does not make sense to me to share sex with other people. In my mind it is best to simply wait a little longer for the person you will marry. I see waiting to have sex as an opportunity to love my future spouse by making a personal sacrifice. I think this mindset creates a strong foundation for a successful marriage and is something I look for in a potential wife. Finally, in the Bible, Jesus says « Love your neighbor as yourself. » I would not appreciate it if someone else slept with the person I marry, so likewise I don’t think it is morally acceptable to sleep with someone until I plan to marry them.
It depends on the specific religion…
I am a pretty serious catholic (f/19), I attend church almost every week and for a long time I thought I was going to wait until marriage for sex. But after meeting my now boyfriend of 8 months, I have had sex and didn’t feel like I was sinning. For me when he first asked I was terrified and nervous and wasn’t sure it was right. But honestly once we truly fell in love, I knew he was the guy I wanted to be with in a physical way. He made me feel comfortable safe and loved. Although it was scary and I’m sure some people at my church wouldn’t approve, for many religious people, if they truly feel a deep connection, NEVER having sex before marriage is not a priority. I can only speak from people I know in my life, who also are fairly religious and for them it depends on how they feel about the guy and how well they are treated. It also is a scary experience to start having sex, religious or not, so talking it over is very important. Just make sure before you do, not pressure her. I occasionally felt pressure (although I don’t think it was intended) but it made me want to less.
I hope my little story/advice was helpful.
THE BIG TAKE AWAY: talk to her and find out her personal stance, (hopefully once you get to know her on more of a serious level) or you might scare her!!
If you have any questions I would love to offer more input!
Dude….. date her because you like her. Why are you worrying about sex if you like this girl?
Crap, why are you even worrying about sex when you still need to ask her out?
As with many religions pre-marital sex is considered a sin within Christianity. That said a lot of people interpret their faith liberally i.e. would not bother with obeying all of the little details so it is worth going on a few dates then asking about this. Statistically just 2% of Americans wait for marriage while the number of people who consider themself to be Christian is much higher so there is a decent chance it will not be an issue.
So, I’m a Christian, and I have had sex. To be completely honest, I wish I had waited and I really wish that my first time would be with my husband, but I’m human, and that ship has sailed.
I would say just talk to her – not every Christian feels the same way, but if her values in that area don’t align with yours, I would move on. You don’t want to tempt her to compromise. My fiance and I have had sex, and I don’t regret it, but I wish in general I had waited.
I hope that you guys can have a great conversation about it!
They think God can’t see butt sex for some reason
Christians aren’t allowed to have sex before marriage.
Unless you’re willing to put yourself through that torture, you’re better off finding a girl that’s not Christian lol