Dating : Dating and emotional attachment
It has become apparent that I have huge vulnerability issues, and I have no idea how to resolve them.
It is rare that I ever like someone enough to keep seeing them, but the moment I do, the moment I feel any measure of vulnerability, I turn into a crazy cat lady.. without the cats.
I get clingy and overly emotional. It’s quite unattractive and when I look back on it, it’s actually pretty embarrassing.
When there’s no emotional attachment, I’m detached, aloof, fun, easy going. When there is, I become insecure and neurotic.
I also tend to be attracted to super attractive arrogant men who are, for the most part, emotionally unavailable (but have no problem falling in love with themselves), which plays on these insecurities even more, and sabotages the relationship before it really even begins. And yes I’m aware that I’m probably dodging bullets.. but I’d rather this pattern stop playing out now.
Has anyone here experienced the same and found a way to overcome it? I do not want to be codependent. I meditate, practice yoga, eat healthy, journal, read self help books.. I’m about to start seeing a therapist, because there are obviously some deep-seated issues here.
Aside from staying single forever, or dating someone I don’t particularly like, I’m not sure what else to do.
I am very similar
Detached, fun, and playful when I don’t care. Super attractive because I’m just chillen
But when I want it to work…… I feel like I’m a different person. 🙁 I feel like it’s kind of embarrassing.
I’m working on this now so it doesn’t screw me up
I am literally the exact same.
I am rarely attracted to anyone, and then I have to be interested enough to keep seeing them. But when I do find a guy I like, oh boy, it’s game over. I think maybe because I’m so deprived of affection lol. It’s definitely hard falling for someone who isn’t on the same page feeling-wise. I don’t have any advice, just wanted to say I’m the same way.
Haha!!! Twinning in our emotional messiness 😉
In addition to therapy (which is a great idea) I would also recommend regularly attending a Codependents Anonymous meeting. It helped me SO much.
Codependency is a tough nut to crack, but it helps to have support from people who get what you’re going through.
80 20 rule
oh my i am the same way !!! My ex asked me to open up because i was closed off ( protecting myself ) . I opened up about my biggest fears in a relationship and how i am so scared of being abandoned and having someone change their mind about me suddenly ….. guess what happened the next week 🙂
so that’s defs put me off for a while, but i just need to be more careful next time and not ignore red flags.