Dating : Dating in your 20’s is weird…
Dating in RL is weird in your mid 20’s… you’ve been out of university for a while and everybody your age are already in stable relationships… everyone new you meet will either still be in college which means they’re on average 19, or already reaching their 30’s. I think it could be because everyone your age or in your social circle is working the grind and isn’t really putting themselves out there in the dating world during this time in their lives (22-28).
Anyone else the same age feel the same way?
there is a plus side – after 25, people tend to leave there first/second long term relationship and *ideally* have a much better idea of who they are and what they want, and more importantly what they*don’t* want.
i met my fiance at 27 – i was in a relationship at the time, had lived with a different ex for a couple years and my now fiance was in a 6 year relationship. but when we connected it was great. skipped all the bullshit games and made some plans. now we’re 29, just bought a house and are looking forward.
i get that the pool might seem smaller but the ones you find will hopefully have similar life experience under their belt and be ready for something serious
It is so weird, Like i know people from highschool that are my age (22) and they are engaged or having children already-it’s wild. I have a bf now but I could not imagine getting married or « settling down » right now.
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also anytime i date someone and then it doesnt work out so I feel like I will never find someone-I always think that my mom didn’t find her now-husband (not my bio dad) until she was like 33-34 so age doesnt matter in that sense. 🙂
It doesnt get any better in your 30’s, most of my friends are married and have kids.
I feel this intensely. Almost all of my friends have boyfriends that they met either in college or right after college. I met my ex my senior year of college and we broke up after about a year, I’ve been single for ~8 months now and dating as a early-twenties working professional has been abysmal. It’s way, way worse than I expected. Being young and single in one of the biggest cities in the world, I thought, hey, I’ll probably meet someone soon. Nope, literally everyone my age is in a LTR..
It only gets weirder in your 30’s.
Oh boy, wait until you get to dating in your 30s…
Yeah it feels awful.
I sincerely have no idea where to look for a single person my age with a stable life that I would also get along with. Add mutual interest to the mix and we’re talking unicorns.
I’m just ugly and depressed so I feel the same way but for different reasons.
It’s especially hard when you’re 26, have no real friends, are just getting into college, and everyone else is already graduated or in long-term relationships.
20s is an odd time, I agree. I’m in my late 20s and this past year I found my partner (who I hope to be my life partner, and I think he will be)… but honestly, at 26, I was having a really hard time. Part of it was trying to figure out my career, part of it was trying to figure out who I was, and part of it was figuring out finances. It’s really difficult in this day and age to have everything together pre-25. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all together, especially because so many people pair up really early on. I don’t envy the people who paired up really early on though. A lot of them will likely be divorced in 10 years, simply because they paired up before they had themselves figured out. The upside to being near 30 and only just starting my serious LTR/marriage-potential relationship is that I really know myself. I had time to figure out my life purpose, my career, my health (including mental health), and I also had enough time to « date » and see who was out there. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything nor does he (he actually wishes even more than me that we met when we were younger). There’s that feeling of « I’m really happy with this, because I already lived my life to the fullest before I met you ». I can’t say that would have been the case if I met him at 22. I would have likely thought, « what else is there? » or would have wanted to pursue individualistic goals without worrying about someone else’s feelings. Enjoy every moment as it comes, and see the upside to it.
Yeah, it feels like everyone our age is in a relationship or getting married. Plus, online dating has inflated people’s egos and it seems no one in their 20’s wants to commit to something long term. From my experience, it’s hard to find something worthwhile with online dating because most act like they’re just looking for attention.
I’m 23M. I’m currently in grad school, living at my parent’s house 20 minutes away and am trying to get a job. I also have fitness goals.
I’m torn between two arguments: one the one hand, I still need to get a lot of cards in my hands. I need to graduate, get a job, get my own place, get fit, etc. and it feels wise to wait till I have to fullest possible hand before dating. On the other hand, my younger brother and a number of my younger cousins aren’t letting a lack of cards get in the way. They’re in relationships, along with many other people their age. Toss in my deep-down panic screaming at me to not die alone and I feel like a metal ball stuck between two magnets.
Wait till your in your late 30’s ….weirdness gets mixed with jack in the box surprises
I am thankful every day that I’m not hung up on an ex – like so many people in their 20s are. Those relationships are never really “over,” you know? It’s a minefield to avoid those poor unfortunate souls lol
Don’t settle in your 20s. Date around. Learn from your partners about who you are and what you want and need from a lover.
I started dating my ex wife when I was 21. We married 5 years later. Divorced 7 years after that. Still great friends, but looking back she’s definitely not what I wanted in a life partner. Dating in your 30s is AWFUL though. I so miss the whimsical nature of dating in my 20s.
At 30+ You mostly have 3 options…. women that wear the « never married and no kids » like a badge of honor. To me that reads as « indecisive, bad at relationships, alchoholic, and / or workaholic » granted I’m from rural Indiana where most people marry at 25 and live happily ever after. In the bigger cities it seems more common to marry in your 30s. Their profile often includes « dog mom » and « greatest aunt ever ».
Option 2 is « like tacos, traveling, and wine » and those women are so basic boring that I dont even bother anymore. Even if they are gorgeous. Itll be pulling teeth to have any sort of meaningful conversation. Usually ask 3 questions to their one while texting over the course of 3 days. Just when you think « eh this one sucks », you get a « what’s up? » Text that leads nowhere.
Option 3 is « Looking for a relationship, not here for hookup, wont send you nudes, don’t want a pen pal, I speak my mind, sarcastic, blunt, 5 kids, and ready to settle down. » Which to me says thirsty for someone to make my ex jealous, looking for someone to split bills, angry at my ex and dad, and have very few interpersonal skills. These profiles often include « bbw » or « thick ».
I know I probably sound bitter, but it gets tiring playing this game. I’ve recently decided to go old school and delete the dating apps. I’ve had great luck with them too, but I’m annoyed with the constant routine of it all.
To be honest, for me at the end of my twenties I realized something bitter : This whole thing with woman getting anxious about getting kids, biological clock has no true effect on the effort a lot of woman take in dating.
I experienced my fair share of being invisible to women, never getting any attention at all despite being actively searching. I thought it would change, as it was told many times in my 20’s.
Bad news : Women are still extremely passive, online dating didn’t change at all in terms of pickyness of women. It is really weird how many men are being ignored, despite having degrees in university, no obvious obesity or problems.
That’s not true apparently in Canada not sure about America there are way more single person than married people. I think your right more people are working VS. dating. You know since rent is high and people want food on their plates.
I just got out of a 5 year relationship. I was 21 when I got in. 26 now that I’m out. Dating is exhausting. I’m discovering new things about myself that I like and don’t like. I got out of the dating scene to focus on myself for now because I refuse to offer anything but the best version of myself.
There are plenty of single people in their mid 20s, I can assure you.
Wait till ur in your 40’s I should have been married but due to unforeseen issues and life not being a given I’m still out there looking for the one again yay this sucks
I’m 25, but I’m still in university because I’m paying for it all myself while also living away from home, so I can only afford so many classes at once. But yeah, it’s a weird age to date.
and here I am 21 and thinking I’ll never be able to find someone
Dating is always weird.
I find people under 25 to be too immature of a serious relationship. They don’t yet understand how to communicate, negotiate and compromise when needed in order to make a relationship work. It’s generally just about them. Sitting down and trying to have a mature conversation about a relationship issue is near impossible. They’re just not there yet…
24m. Yeah I agree totally. Fucking sucks but it’ll work out hopefully!
Yeah this happens to me and add to it the fact that I’m a virgin that is definitely not interested in having sex without having a very stable relationship first.
And singles in mid 20’s are either looking for hookups or someone to sleep with at the 3rd date to the least. I tried online dating and even when I specified and was kinda aggressive with my conditions (no sex, health issues, nerd) men still ignored it because they don’t read bios.
Yes I know I’m not from the like of everyone but Men over there complains about women being too picky yet they’re asking for specific kind of and classifying women (read comments here)… that kind of behavior is also a turn down.
Edit: since it seems like it is confusing, the reason why I’m not interested in sex is not because I’m conservative or I’m saving myself until marriage, it is because I don’t feel attraction towards people that way unless I have a big attraction or motive to it meaning: I’m part of the asexual spectrum
I was in a single relationship from the week I turned 20 to a month after my 30th birthday and feel like I missed out tbh. It sucks being in your 30’s having only dated a handful of people.
I think a bit of this is observation bias. There are singles out there same as always. Many aren’t worth dating as usual. Those in relationships are often unsatisfied, just content with having *someone* familiar. It’s hard regardless. Hookups and superficial relationships were easy in college but a lot of the time that’s all it is. Sure some of them have kids and get married but that doesn’t mean squat. It’s hard to find a perfect relationship, though you can have ones that work. I say don’t sweat it, have fun, and keep your options open in case the right one does finally come along.
Yes. I feel the same
Dude I get that feeling its so weird. Like idk anymore how do people even date outside of college haha.
My relationships have all been through schooling. So now I’m kinda just sitting here twiddling my thumbs.
I feel like it’s the worst right after you finish college, but it gets better once your career stabilizes around your mid-twenties (just my experience).
I’m 26 and many people I know in their mid to late 20s are still single. They are either in grad school are just starting their profession so they have to move for jobs. I’ve never thought about relationships until now, because I was just focused on school and career as well. And it’s just hard to find people in my age bracket. I live in a decent size city, but the meetups I go to don’t have a large amount of people. Tried dating apps but nothing has lead to any actual dates yet. At large events, I make small talk with people but then I won’t see them again. Now, I’m just trying expand my circle and hope to meet people through friends or work.
I spent most of my 20s still in college and still associating with people in college. Then, at 28, I got a grown up job.
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The dating scene for me did not change much until then. Suddenly dating as a late 20 year old and now early 30 year was …. *serious*. And not just in the sense that potential dates talk about wanting marriage and a family. A lot of people around me seem to think that that is what I want too. Personally I do not care for such things but that is the big shift I have noticed.
Yeah. Everyone I meet my age only wants to hook up and everyone I meet in their only 30s is still single bc they don’t want anything serious. If ppl could just be more upfront about what they’re looking for from the start then it’d save everyone a whole lot of time and heart break
I wouldn’t know since I am FA 🙁
Try dating in your 30s…