Dating : Do any other dudes feel like it’s actually gotten harder when you got more fit?
So I’m really kind of a nerd, I’m pretty shy, I’m into playing guitar, and at the end of the day, I’m looking for someone similar. Towards the end of college, I started working out, and the past few years I’ve been going into overdrive with it. It’s great for my physical and mental health, I like me better this way, and there is no way in hell I’m going to stop. I’m not shredded, but I’m definitely fit, have some muscles, and get compliments on them periodically (from people that wouldn’t be romantically interested in me). That being said, I remember in high school and college I had girls who were obviously interested in me, and now, I feel like that number has gone down significantly, and the majority of those that are now are desperate and looking for anybody that’ll take them (sorry if it’s harsh but I’m calling it like I see it).
I feel like the type of girls I’m interested in might see the way I look and assume I have a jock personality or whatever. But the kind of girls that like jocks wouldn’t like me when they get to talking to me (not that I’d much like them either). I know a lot of men like me automatically assume a conventionally attractive girl is basic, entitled, shallow, and ditsy. They might physically be attracted to her, but they’ve come to associate that appearance with negative qualities and so they don’t even bother. I wonder if something like that is going on with me. I mean a lot changes when you graduate college and this certainly isn’t the only factor, I just wanted to see if anyone else had this experience.
From what I understood, being too fit can be a turn off for a regular woman. They feel like they can’t adopt your lifestyle and you’re after someone that can. Maybe they find you attractive, but they don’t see a possibility for a long term relationship.
I’m not ripped, but I’m definitely in good shape, and I’ve met a lot of girls who either got insecure and thought I was too good for them or who didn’t like the idea that I’d « overshadow » them in public if we went out. It’s a weird problem, but then again those aren’t people I’d want to be with anyways
If you are too fit, hard rock six pack abs and such, it’s probably a too much for the majority of women. They like to look, mb fun for a night. But it’s actually intimidating and for a LTR they cant cope with your lifestyle of working out that much.
Unless you’re looking like [this](https://preview.redd.it/qmhswqpemdh21.jpg?width=1024&auto=webp&s=45c8647513554a30cbbbb40e6cfd193f6af84821) then no. No normal person is going to be less attracted to someone in good shape. I’d examine other possible reasons.
I have a dad body but my gf wants me to have a six pack (she has a super serious workout routine). So it depends, I know most of the women I know prefer men that are on the slightly or fit size (not super fit) because if you are overly fit they think you expect them to adapt that lifestyle or it’s internal pressure that they need to be fitter and they love their calories. Also, listening to a few of them that have dated fit guys but they complained he spent to much time at the gym and not enough quality time with her.
My recommendation is be patient, keep up the dating hustle, and go to places were you can meet the type of women you are interested in.
Is this a humble brag thread?
Only hard thing bout me getting fit is I get more matches than I use to, and it’s makes it harder for me to want to stay faithful to one. If only dating was not so expensive, I’d be a playa lol.
Honeslty id just go with going to places where you meet people with the same intrests ie concerts and music shops if youre into guitars and such and talking to people you find attractive or look for the same thing on your dating apps not much else you can do
To each their own.
It might be your location.
I see plenty of muscular men who have no problem getting women interested in them.
I look like someone who works out, but I actually don’t work out at all and have no interest in someone who comes across like they’re « all about the gym. » Partially because I find that mindset rather annoying. I swipe left on men who mention wanting a gym partner on their profile, and I do tend to make assumptions when I see muscular men in public.
Unfortunately, it might be that some women are making incorrect assumptions based on the way you look.
I’ve had women think I’m a marine when I’m really a non-violent artist that prefers plural pronouns and have never watched more than a few minutes of a sports game. I am also admittedly having a rough go of dating.
Side question, how do fit people meet if they work out at home and never go to a gym?
I’m 6’3 – 220 and ripped and dating has never been easier than when I got really serious about working out and dieting. My personality and appearance has always been kinda jock / frat bro though, so it really didn’t change much.
Definitely been harder from my experience. I remember getting vast amounts of attention from women around 16 to 18 years old (I was and still am oblivious though… hindsight is 20/20), after that is when I started going to the gym more intensely and being very strict with my diet. Now I’m in the best shape of my life yet also get literally no interest, meanwhile my friends who don’t lift, are skinny, and or have « dad-bods » get all the attention. Last time I hit it off with a girl mutually was when I was 18, didn’t last two dates. I turned 23 a month ago. 🙁
maybe you have no game
Maybe you should stop making assumptions and stop judging fit, pretty women. Try to be a little less shy and more confident. Many women don’t want to stay in shape. They don’t want a man who expects that. You need to realize you are fit now and you need to go for pretty fit women. Many fit men and women are not douches and are very nice, active and fun. Stereotypes about fit people are very rarely true. Just talk to a fit and pretty girl.
I have no clue what your talking about. The more fit I get the more women want me. To the point that it happen just by walking to the bus. Maybe you live in bizarro land. Where nerds get girls and physical fit men get nothing.