Dating : Do I have a say on what my girlfriend wears?
Before you rampage, and say I’m not giving her independence, hear me out.
I could careless what she wore, and where she’s wearing it to. I don’t control or own her at all, we are two independent people in a relationship.
Here’s where I need advice on. I’m asking this question because my friend’s notice she wears some stuff in public that’s a little bit too much. She wore some booty shorts in a mall, and wore a short shirt. There are more moments like this, but this moment got my friends a little concerned. I was very aware on what she’s wearing, I just couldn’t care because I don’t have a say in this because she’s a grown woman.
If it helps, she’s more extroverted than me. She went to a nudist beach, and wore spaghetti t-shirt with camouflage leggings to a club. I supported her, and glad she flaunted her assets(she is a latina). I was always liked this when we dated, that’s one thing that will never change.
I’m very comfortable & trusting of my girlfriend of 3 year’s, but am I doing a good thing? I mean if she’s not breaking a law in public, she can wear a bikini in walmart for all I care. Any tips, stories, or advice would be really appreciated on a topic like this. Thanks if you do help.
Edit: Forgot to add, she went to the nudist beach with some guy friends. She doesn’t have many female friends.
No, you don’t have a say. But if how she dresses is a big deal to you, perhaps bring it up to her.
If it were me, nah, I wouldn’t care. I have better things to be worried about than dressing my SO.
Oh my Lord at all the comments calling OP’s gf disrespectful or implying she isn’t gf material… like what? What year are we in again?
There’s someone out there for everybody and just because skimpy clothes aren’t your cup of tea, it doesn’t devalue this relationship!
OP, I think it’s normal and expected for some people to feel uncomfortable with how she dresses, but if the bottom line is that you love it and she loves it and it’s not hurting anyone – who cares?
And to the comments about the gf at the nudist beach – is it really impossible for male friends (who may not be attracted to women anyway) to not sexualise OP’s gf on a beach where literally everyone is going to be naked anyway? Doesn’t that detract from the point of a nudist beach where no one is supposed to care?
Short answer is, no, you don’t get a say. It sounds like it wasn’t a problem until your friends started saying things. You knew who she was when you started up with her. I’m guessing that it was part of what attracted you to her in the first place.
On the other hand, you’re dating an obvious exhibitionist with no female friends. Those are some bright red flags. If your friends have concerns, you should hear them out.
… Maybe it’s just me… but kinda thinking the nudist beach with guy friends is what should be brought up in conversation as opposed to her everyday wear.
Yeah, I would dump that one, dude. If you have any self respect, don’t date a woman who freely gets naked in front of other men. You have a say in that you have bargaining power. She presumably likes you (even if she gives the opposite signal by showing off to others), therefore wants you to stick around. This is leverage. But you’ve already wasted three years on her. If you haven’t already solved this problem, I would look for a more wholesome woman to invest in.
You don’t have a say in what she wears, but you do have a say in who you make your girlfriend. This is a trainwreck waiting to happen.
Well mate I’ll tell you a story:
I went out with this *super cute* blonde girl – about 5’2″, skinny as hell, nice little titties. On our first date she showed up in this ***teeny tiny*** dress that basically had her boobs popping out and her ass/panties were but a breeze away from being on display. I didn’t feel comfortable at all – in fact, it turned me off in a serious way. She’s fine as hell and the outfit was SUPER sexy, but I’m not looking for that in a *girlfriend*. She invited me to a party after the date but I was like « I’ve got to go do a thing… ». Never talked to her again.
She was mad as hell (I guess not many guys reject her), but something like that is a serious problem for me. I’m comfortable, trusting, all that good stuff, but I view it as a lack of respect for herself and me. Maybe I’m just old fashion in that way, but dressing like that is not for me. It’s obviously making you uncomfortable.. maybe you two would be better off as « friends »