Dating : Do you seriously think all « nice guys » end up in the friendzone?
Hey, everyone!
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So I come here because I’d like to have some opinions on this matter. The thing is, I hear all the time how people and « advisers » on relationships stuff tell men all the time not to be the « nice guys », because these guys never attract women, they end up being used, etc. And it always strikes me as… well, stupid! I mean, I’ve dated this stereotype of guy and everything has been fine til now. In fact, all of my relationships have been long and incredibly satisfying. So I find it so stupid when everyone says that romantic and nice guys are losers or something like that.
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Yeah, I admit many women are also into « bad boys » and that shit. And guess what? Almost all the women I know who are into those guys end up with terrible boyfriends and shit like that (and why not saying it? Some of those women are also very bitchy). Don’t get me wrong, everyone can be attracted to whatever they want, that’s not my problem. But I see many of my « nice guys » male friends and even one of my exes under a lot of pressure because society keeps telling them they’re not « manly enough » and I dunno… I find it ridiculous.
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Summing up, I feel like the mistake is not to be a « nice guy » but wanting to attract as many women as possible. I think that’s a mistake unless you don’t care that much about who you fuck (which is ok as long as you don’t hurt anyone). The aim should be to attract the people you’re actually interested in. At least that’s how I see it. I don’t attract that many guys, and I’m absolutely happy with that because the guys I do attract are usually pretty much what I’m looking for. It’s a bit like marketing to me (not marketing yourself to everyone, but having a very definite target public and marketing just to those ideal clients). So yeah, there are girls who are into nice guys and appreciate them, and most importantly, are just as nice and caring. You just gotta have patience and look for those girls.
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So what do you think? What have been your experiences?
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TL;DR: I think there is a misconception when people say nice guys are like losers and I’d like to know what have been other men experiences
The he’s « just really nice » has been used for decades to describe a guy that they arent romantically interested in.
In the end, its less about being « nice » or not, and more about finding the person sexy or not. If you are into the person, great. If other people arent, even more great…because he’s all for you. You should be thrilled.
Most of the time nice guys are introverts who are just trying to get up the courage to ask girls out. By the time they get it, they’ve already been friendly with the girl for long enough that she will see him as a friend because the window for him to act has passed. There are those that are fine with it and then there are those that become « nice guys » which never bodes well.
I think it is pointless to try to find a connection with niceness and dating success, because its so far down the list of important things its basically meaningless. It’s the equivalent of trying to compare between android users and apple users and talking about which one ends up in the friendzone more often. Niceness really doesn’t matter that much.
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The things that matter, in my opinion, are: (1) Luck & Timing, (2) physical attractiveness, (3) social status / wealth, (4) confidence, (5) personality, etc. Way down the list is niceness. Like maybe #15ish. Only after some of or most of the preceding criteria are met, does niceness become an issue.
I mean im only (M17), but in my experience similar kinda attracts. Good girls like good guys and bad girls like bad guys. Their life styles just kinda mesh together.
« nice guys » are anything but nice, and the friendzone is a myth.
I think being legitimately nice, normal, and non-desperate is very attractive. Guys like that are rarely single unless they’re trying to date out of their league.
It seems like the stereotypical « nice guys » (ie. not actually nice) and women who are into « bad boys » get a lot of attention because they tend to be single WAY more often and to get into lots of drama.
Women like masculine men.
Masculinity being a neutral quality.
They’ll take a bad boy over a spineless wimp anyday, but most prefer a strong masculine man who treats them well in my experience.
You can keep your sword sheathed but it better be sharp.
I’m probably a typical « nice guy » and its gotten me laid a few times, and probably more times than that Ive had opportunities that Ive been too nice (socially stunted) to pick up on till way too late. The idea that « nice guys finish last » is made up by people who arent actually nice.
You admitted that women are into bad boys. How does this help out overall?
They do
Watch Megamind and you’ll know who the nice guy is and why he’s there.
I don’t think that all GENUINE nice guys end up in the friend zone. I do think there are a lot of fake « nice guys » who do, for a number of reasons, have difficulty finding someone. I normally appreciate a sensitive guy, but I’ve seen lot of « nice » or « sensitive » guys having sexual double standards, unrealistic beauty standards, objectifying women, desperation, etc. that are real turn-offs.
NO, Nice Guys don’t end up in friends zone. In fact, they do end up with the women they after……only after she screw a 50+ Chad and settle with you. Is that really a consolation prize???
Nice Guy are called **Beta-Orbiter** for a reason. They do so because they’re waiting for the women get dump, and be the 1st to strike @her emotional weakness…..
Come to think of it, **Nice Guy are really NOT that NICE**. In fact, they’re an emotional predator with hidden agenda. This is the true face of a nice guy.