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Dating : Don’t know where to go from here

Dating : Don’t know where to go from here


Hey everyone, I could really use some help and/or advice from you guys cause I clearly have no idea what I’m doing. Sorry for long post

There’s this one person in my college classes [29F] who I [23M] would talk too occasionally and we had to work on some projects together. She seems like a great person and I enjoy talking to her in class but outside of that the only communication we would have would be about school via text. About a week and a half ago though she text and invited me to one of her friends birthday parties and then mentioned we should watch a playoff game together sometime. I couldn’t make it to her friends party, but we set up a time to watch a game together.

We met up and went to a brewery to watch a game then went back to her house to watch another and had dinner over there with her brother. It was a ton of fun but I honestly had no idea whether it was supposed to be a date or just hanging out because she initiated it. During the evening there were times when it felt like it could have been either and it left me confused. Since it was a lot of fun getting to know her, I asked her if she wanted to go hiking and we set a day for it. I love hiking and she mentioned she wanted to start going more so thought it would be a good idea.

We ended up going hiking and everything went really well. Weather was perfect, trail was perfect, wildlife showed up which was amazing, and just in general had a really great time. However, at least for me, the vibe felt the same as the first time. Couldn’t tell if she thought it was a date or a hangout and to be honest I wasn’t sure either. It would seem to be going one way then go in the other direction. Ended up being like a 12 hour ordeal with driving included.

At the end of the day when I was dropping her off I decided to ask what she was looking for cause I was super confused and thought it would be better to just know and then go from there. I basically asked if she was looking for a relationship or something else (not specifically with me) because I wanted to have a clearer path forward. I think it would be cool to try and start a relationship with her cause she seems like a great person, but I would be totally okay with being friends as well. Well cause I’m an idiot and have minimal experience when it comes to these things, I worded it poorly and had to explain my question again and stumbled a bit while talking. She looked caught off guard and basically said she ended a big relationship a year ago and was not sure what she was looking for and then immediately got out of my car. We did day goodbye but that was it. Texted her when I got home saying it was fun and she responded back saying the same. Later in the night she text me sorry for being awkward when I asked that and said it was nice that I wasn’t afraid to ask but she never answered my question. Saw her the next day at school and everything seemed as it was before.

So onto my question, what in the world do I do now? I still have zero idea if she is just looking to be friends or if she is looking for a relationship. Do I just ask her on a date and see how she responds? I don’t want to make it awkward again but I just don’t know how to approach this. If she just wants to be friends that’s great and I would be happy to have a new hiking buddy, but if she is looking for a relationship then of course I would do more then just invite her on hikes. How bad did I mess up lol?

Read also  Dating : Confusing feelings about FWB type situation

What do you think?

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  1. Sounds like she’s playing head games. Be honest, tell her you really like her, and that you just need a proper answer, does she never see herself dating you, or, is it a question of time, and if so, how much? Reassure her that she can say no to you, rejection is better than purgatory of the imagination. If she rejects you, less contact, in the classroom stay professional. It’s all too easy nowadays to get slaped with acusations of harrasment, and she sounds flaky. So be careful.

  2. You didn’t mess up. Try inviting her to do something that is more clearly a date. See if she accepts then see how it goes.

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