Dating : F,32. 2 amazing first dates, felt an amazing connection, guy said he wanted to commit, then ghosted me. What happened?
So he (M, 31) said he’s basically never been in love but the connection felt so great that he really wanted us to try and be serious together. I should mention he casually sees (and sometimes sleeps with) a girl he’s dated for two months before that, and that they have « a good bond, but it’s never gonna work » between them.
I know this isn’t a good starting point for us, but I was willing to take the chance with him, since he seemed sincere and I thought we both felt great while we hung out (beyond great).
Then, 2 days after our 2nd date, he ghosted me. What happened? Should I try texting him and see if I can reverse whatever decision/conclusion he’s come to?
I’m really into him, but I don’t want to be left heartbroken and pet his ego if he chaged his mind…
The fact that you only went on 2 dates before this happened basically explains it all. No one falls in love that fast and if they say they do they’re lying, most likely for short term sexual gains. Another tip: being really into someone after the first couple dates is totally fine but it’s usually best not to make that fact obvious to the other person right away. For some reason knowing that someone is **really** into you is a complete turnoff to some people and often scares them away. It’s hard to explain why people behave this way but I’ve seen it enough times to know it’s true. People always want what they can’t have and will always take for granted the things that come easily.
So the guy told you he feels a great connection towards you and never felt that before. Then ghosted you. On the other hand he is fucking another girl where he totally never felt that connection but it seems to be enough to not ghost her, sleep with her and date her for 2 months. Go figure…
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Uh he lied to you and has done this twenty plus times? Probably get your personality detector retuned. It’s malfunctioning.
Any male over 30 that can’t talk openly and honestly to a romantic partner about the good and the bad in their relationship is destined for failure. Also, he has a side chick. I’ll let you decide if you’re the side chick or the other one is.
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I’m of the firm opinion that if someone isn’t strong or mature enough to tell you it isn’t going to work out, they definitely are not worth chasing.
Everyone has been in love at some point in their life before their 30’s so that would be kindoff a red flag about that guy.
It’s likely that whatever problem he has preventing him from falling in love with others in the past he is experiencing with you.
But that is nothing more than speculation really. If you have been on 2 dates, you felt a great connection and if you’re convinced he felt it too then honestly:
CALL HIM OUT ON HIS SHIT AND ASK HIM BLUNTLY WHY HE GHOSTED YOU.
I personally think people who do this kindoff ghosting are shit, and they should gather whatever little balls they have (women too) to just say to whoever they’re dating that they don’t think it’s going to work out.
It’s not like you’re 12 years old and don’t know how to be honest..
sounds like you might be the other girl, and the one that he pretends to just be sleeping with but not having a relationship with, might be the girlfriend or SO.
He’s not that into you, and/or he’s really damaged. Just ditch him, he’s only going to cause you trouble.