Dating : Felt mad chemistry with a guy, he showed what felt like red flags, cut him off before first date.

Dating : Felt mad chemistry with a guy, he showed what felt like red flags, cut him off before first date.

I will try to keep it short, I promise.

Basically, I was talking to a guy I met on Tinder, and I felt a lot of chemistry. I was really feeling it, until I started seeing small red-flags that led to me cutting communication with him.

Those red flags were:

– Saying that, as long as I didn’t wear a lot of make up, I was good (Out of nowhere, no context).

– Dismissing social sciences, and dismissing my arguments.

– Asking me to share personal information so « he could know if he had to run ».

– Saying that using the expresion « Getting to know someone », was me trying to hide the fact I had dated/had sex with someone in the past.


He also suggested meeting up when he had free time, but not as in an « exchange ». More like « I’m free this day, we could do something », and assuming I would be completely okay with it, and insisting even if I said I couldn’t really make it that day (I was freaking graduating from university that day!!).


I feel a bit guilty because, he was really funny, and he didn’t seem ill-intentioned. But his comments struck to me as weird, and I couldn’t get over the accusation of « trying to hide something », after being asked to share private stuff. He apologized later, but I honestly think it was just because I stopped talking to him.

Did I do the right thing?

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What do you think?

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  1. Nahhh you did the right thing. You don’t want to date someone that unaware of how they are acting – scarier still if they *know* what they’re saying and say it anyway. NYEEEEEEXTTTT!

  2. That part of thinking you’re trying to hide past sexual history is absolutely enough justification to cut him off. That’s none of his business, your sexual history is your own, if he takes issue with it then toxicity could only ensue.

  3. Yes you did the right thing. In dating and getting to know someone never dismiss your misgivings just because you see a couple of positives. Use your misgivings to take a step back and assess. What you stated in your note would cause me to run away fast.

  4. Who knows. It’s hard to know how someone intends to come across via text. I always feel like people that I don’t know come across as too rigid and serious. But maybe they are just being casual. There’s no right or wrong choice here. It’s possible you’re overthinking things.

  5. Yikes.

    No, it seems you were direct and rather polite so I don’t think you did anything wrong.

    Maybe he’s just hella awkward but those red flags are enough to make me think he is ill-intentioned (anyone who dismisses a whole set of disciplines/ideas, tries to accuse someone of hiding things, who tries to shame women wearing makeup without thinking of the very real pressures behind it, etc. is not looking to respect and uplift their fellow person). Bullet dodged, imo.

  6. You did what you thought was best. Nothing wrong with that. Though I don’t agree with cutting him off completely.

    – it’s before a first date, people in text vs meeting in person can be different.

    – in his eyes, you may have just ghosted him. A small explanation saying you don’t think it’ll work would be nice.

    I don’t know how long you’ve chatted, but those red flags should be enough for you to cut it off. I would be nice and tell him you are no longer interested though.

  7. Do women think that men are clowns, like we were meant to just make you laugh?

    What if I’m a good man but I’m not funny? Couldn’t we just go to lots of standup or just watch funny movies?

    Couldn’t we just be a comedic team and we write jokes for me and I’ll tell them to you from time to time and when I’m finally I’ll leave yo’ ass for white girl hahahahahahaha


    Please ignore this comment was just feeling silly.

    The guy would’ve been problematic, you made the right call.

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