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Dating : First Tinder date, how to tone it down?

Dating : First Tinder date, how to tone it down?


Hey guys, thanks in advance for your input, I kinda don’t want to screw this one up.

So basically, met this dude on Tinder a few days ago. It started out as a kind of a joke, as he didn’t have his own pictures on his profile, only three symbolic ones, so I just swiped out of curiosity, thinking I’d get an explanation and then unmatch.
Turns out the guy is very fun to talk to, we have similar interests and very similar sense of humour, and after he gave me his IG I saw that he’s easy on the eyes as well. We arranged a coffee date for Monday.

Now, the thing is, we did talk about some riskier things, I tried to keep it as little as possible while not looking like a prude, but I am usually very open and a sexual person, so it still translated into an open discussion. I don’t mind this as such, I just don’t want him to end up wanting only sex from me as a result of this.

So basically my question is, how do I go back? I’m afraid it’s too early to be discussing and joking about sex, and I don’t just want a one night stand with this guy, he seems pretty decent and I liked talking to him very much, so I’d like to at least be able to be friends with him if there isn’t a spark. I’m afraid that’s all he’ll think of me now. Did I steer this somewhere I didn’t want it to go?

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What do you think?

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  1. You never know what he’ll be like, but I’d say it’s fairly normal to have far riskier conversations through text in person – any somewhat similar situation I’ve been in the guy has toned himself down because he’s genuinely not bold enough to talk about those things on a first date – texting is easy to get carried away with. I’d just stand your ground on keeping the conversations very first date appropriate and he should follow, if he isn’t respectful when you do, he’s probably not worth dating. Have fun! Plus it’s a coffee shop, it would be weird to get explicit there!

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Tinder : As a South Asian Guy Tinder (And online dating in general) is a constant reminder of how fucked up the system is.

Dating : Dumpster Fire