Dating : For those of you who met your current/past partners in person, where did you meet them?
I’m not sure whether I’ve asked this question here before, so forgive me if I did. I’m 23f, and for reasons I won’t get into, I’m not able to get into dating apps. I’ve never been in a relationship or have any dating experience (except for one date), and since I never get approached/attention irl, I don’t know where to start. I also don’t know where to even meet people, considering I don’t drink or party, and that the meetup app in my city mostly consists of people 40+ (or is inaccessible for similar reasons). I can’t really meet people through my friends, either.
I’m wondering how or where you’ve met your partners, especially in your 20s.
I am the godfather of my niece. When she started elementary school, I was with her on her first day of school. I met her beautiful teacher on that day. Now we are married and we have a son. That was 8 years ago, I was 27. Sometimes you just have to be in the right place at the right time mate.
Pursue your hobbies and get involved in the communities around them if you can!
I met my partner mid COVID times at the top of a mountain biking trail. He got to the top of the lookout about 10 minutes after me, I said hello, we made friendly conversation and ended up chatting for 20 minutes. We exchanged first names before he went to head back down the trail, and later that day ended up finding me on Facebook to ask if I wanted to go for a bike ride or grab a drink sometime 🙂
I’m assuming you don’t want the « go to bars » answer. Although, I have met some of the best people that way
BUT, the main way to meet people is social groups. You’d have to find social groups that would interest you: Church, sport groups or job-buddys
social groups -> more friends -> more potential intimate partner possibilities
I met my dude at my old job. First time I saw him I thought he was cute, but I couldn’t date him because of legal reasons (he’s the person that has to check if everything is in line with the law, and it would make him less impartial).
I quit my job there and started texting him, and now we’re two months since our first kiss 🙂
(Sorry for my english, it’s hard to translate some words)
I know this is unlikely what you are looking for, but I met my now-husband online. I’m fairly introverted and work in a female-dominated field (healthcare for seniors), and he works in a male-dominated field (computer engineering). We would have never met otherwise though we worked within a couple miles from each other in a city 35 miles from where we both lived. The last five or six weddings we attended were also couples who met online. My sister met her spouse offline though. Our mother is an engineer, and she set her up with a younger coworker she had been trying to get her to meet for like two years. Other people have met through friends or work, but this can get sticky if it doesn’t work out.
Same situation, only in my later 20s. I live in a fairly rural area so even going to a bar isn’t really an option, unless you count a family-oriented sports bar like Beef’s. I tried going to a craft beer place recently, and maybe it was a little early, but the place was dead.
I’m also trying to go to the gym more consistently; make myself a familiar face. Then maybe I’ll ask another regular (who isn’t wearing headphones) for some help and hope something comes out of it. I don’t know.
There’s exactly one open Meetup group that regularly does things in my area. It looks like it’s mostly filled by older people, like most places in my area. Well, maybe one of them has a nice son? I suppose it’s come to that.
I’ve never been in a relationship, either, so the few brief attempts I made at online dating was simultaneously overwhelming and disheartening.
When I was in high school and college I met my past partners in school.
When I was over the age of 21 I mostly met women in nightclubs/dance clubs.
At that age I wasn’t looking to get married and had no issues dating older women 5,10, 12 years older than myself. Oftentimes they already had the « fairytale wedding » and divorce.
They were just looking to have fun and appreciate their newfound freedom.
In the latter years I met women using online dating sites. There comes a point where you feel too old to be standing outside waiting to get in nightclubs and dealing with the large crowds.
These days I believe most people are far more comfortable trying to meet online.
Oftentimes when men contemplate approaching women « offline » they might feel it’s a higher chance of getting rejected, coming across as creepy, or be seen as *interrupting them* as they are busy trying to conduct some form of business transaction. They didn’t come to the bank or Starbucks looking for love. That’s the kind of thing that mostly happens in the movies or romance novels.
The overall belief is if you meet someone online *they signed up to* *meet new people* even if it’s not *you* they’re interested in. Unfortunately this has lead many people to *only* use dating apps.
Engaging in flirtatious banter with someone in person has almost become a lost art.
Another alternative for people is joining hobby/interest groups on their local Meetup site.
The advantage is they get to know people over time in meetings much like being back at school.
Best wishes!
I always went to a place I enjoyed often and went out of my way to meet new people. Library. museums, parks, classes that interested me. I chose those places with hopes of meeting someone with similar interests/intellect as myself. It worked to varying degrees, although swipe culture kinda killed the face to face interaction thing.
Met my wife volunteering at a charity.
First (young) love: he was a friend of a friend. I had never met him before, but knew who he was. He send me a happy birthday text and made me guess who he was (I didn’t have his number).
Second love: through mutual friends at parties. I kept running into him. After going out at a bar, he brought me to the bus station. Turns out I had missed the last bus so he walked me home (45 minutes).
The guy I’m currently seeing I met on Bumble. I really do see potential in him. Another guy I dated for awhile but that didn’t work out on OkCupid. I know you don’t want online dating apps, but I do have really good experience with these two.
I met my partner in person. We met at a friends house. Instant connection! At the moment he is asleep next to me in bed, our 2 year old is sleeping in his room, and I am pregnant with our second. Dating apps are not the only way to meet someone. A coffee shop/ book store/ park could be a good place to pay attention to potential partners. Try not to worry too much. You are still young, focus on building yourself right now. If you are in school that’s a great way to meet as well! If you aren’t in school, your job could be a good place. If you are doing neither, pick one. ( I say school) I just started again at 30. Going for nursing. Wish I would have done it sooner!
I met my now husband in a choir. We got chatting, and just clicked. He sorta asked me out. I said let’s try a date. 12 years later we’ve been married 3 years and are really happy ❤️
If you’ve got any hobbies like singing or creating stuff or whatever, try finding a local club. (Obv it will be harder in covid times – there might be an online one atm.). I wish you the best of luck!
My advice is, be yourself and be more interested in making friends first and the hobby/club you’ve joined. It will make things much easier. I wasn’t looking when I found my hubby as I wasn’t long out of a break up. So have the goal to enjoy life and you’ll never know who will appear around the corner 🙂
Good luck!
Social groups. Obviously easier in a larger community.
Met mine in a running club.
Met my most recent ex on my university campus. I had classes during the summer term so was studying outside on the grass when he came up and asked if he could join me. I thought he was incredibly cute and honestly, out of my league, so I was pretty flattered. He sat down and studied with me while we chatted. We actually just stayed friends for about a month before a drunken night lead to admitting feelings, etc. Dated for about a year! Broke up due to going to different countries for grad school but definitely still friends.
Guys rarely used to approach me as well, but I’ve noticed that’s because I was typically in groups, or really shy/closed off whenever I was alone in public. Since getting more comfortable doing things on my own, and actually enjoying doing things on my own, I’ve noticed I get approached almost every time I go out by myself (like to a park or coffee shop, not clubbing/bars). And they’re usually pretty respectful as well! My favourite compliment as of recent was a guy telling me he saw me across the street and thought I had the most positive and happy vibe!
College, work, online.
She was the friend of a past gf of me.
School, University, also through common friends.
At work – we worked at a university campus restaurant, so we had mutual friends and the environment was awesome. We were friends for a long time first, but the relationship blossomed from that.
I met my girlfriend in a local park. Hadn’t used dating apps in years prior to meeting her so I met pretty much every one of my dates while out and about
I met my current gf at University.
so i met my current about 12 years ago through my cousin at a family picnic. nothing really happened then and we kinda lost touch. last year my cousin died in a car accident and we reconnected and been together ever since
go to places you enjoy, you’ll find people with the same interests
met my boyfriend at school 🙂
it’s all about networking. but you’ve got to put yourself out there
– roommates of friends
– work
– side gigs. What’s something you are interested in? biking? great – sign up to hand out water at the next bike event in town…you’ll meet new people you never would have otherwise, you don’t actually work with them so that’s not weird, and you already have something in common
– ask to be set up. do your friends have partners?, their partners have friends. ask to be set up – best case it works out, worst you get a coffee with someone you don’t really care for
– arts festivals/any community event. you’re in line for a sno-cone, great « it’s so hot, these are great on days like this…what flavor are you going to get? » it’s dumb. but it’s a start – « oh do you live in (neighborhood)? I just moved here… » or whatever. build off of that.
you’re going to have to go out and be available.
I met my late fiancée in a philosophy class I was taking for my minor and she was taking for fun. She sat behind me and we hit it off really well. We started off as friends but then ended up making out after watching a ballet one night.
You can go to bar and not drink, you can also go to different things that dont necesarily need to be bar. I’m sure there is much more things happening around you that you dont even know of.
Your imperative should be to meet as many people as possible, male or female.
we both worked at an escape room
First LTR, at work.
Second also at work.
Current partner, Tinder.
7 relationships. 2 of them IRL 5 of them online.
1st: High school. We were childhood friends, and randomly both decided to date each other one day.
2nd: Work. We were co-workers in different departments but I helped her with a lot of stuff. We had known each other for a year and when I became single she asked me out.
3rd-7th: All online, all OkCupid.
Work, school, parties, bar with/through friends.
I met my ex-husband when I was 17. We worked at the same grocery store. We became friends abs eventually started dating when I was 21 and he’d broken up with his long time girlfriend.
I will say, I met my current bf on hinge and this relationship has been 1000x healthier and happier.