Dating : Fucked up by not kissing a girl
So I (M26) met a girl on Tinder (F23)
Fast-forwarding to the ending of fifth date, we still haven’t kissed and told each other goodbye. Then the messaged me if we should remain friends, I asked her to go outside, we had a really passionate kiss, it was weird and amazing moment at once, we opened up, spoke to each other about our emotions, how we feel etc.
Why this happened (I think)
1. I was feeling anxious and haven’t recovered from my last relationship.
2. She feels weird about the concept of online dating and meeting someone online.
3. I didn’t feel like it was the right moment looking at her nonverbal signs
4. Once she told me « You remind me of a guy I used to love. Not sure if my heart haven’t healed yet or it’s just the type I like », later texting ‘sorry, it was weird, I shouldn’t have said that’
5. I’m an idiot (the most likely reason)
Next day she told me the whole thing was a bad idea, it feels weird, but she would be happy having a coffee with me as friend one day.
I know it’s not how the things are supposed to be, and I fully deserve being dumped. But it still feels like there is a connection and we could be a great couple.
It’s been a few days since we texted. So, is it over? Should I just move on or not?
Just text her saying “thanks, I’m interested in more than just friends, so when you change your mind let me know” and leave it at that. You’ve made some fuck ups, chalk this up to experience. Now you need to learn where you went wrong and work on yourself. At least this way you’ve left the door open if she reaches out
I think you showed a lot of courage and bravery doing that. The fact that you actually had an intellectual conversation is beautiful and I can tell you right now, she REALLY appreciated that talk. Open communication is key in any relationship. I wouldn’t bother her about dating anymore but you could suggest going out as friends. It might not be a yes but I can almost guarantee that she won’t be mad at you for asking.
It is over for now and you should move on. Either she wasn’t quite that into you and the big kiss just made her think more deeply about it, or you have competition and the other guy won (or both). It is completely on her to be the one to come back and say she changed her mind,…you are not the one in the position to do anything about it. Never agree to « just be friends » and openly state that it isn’t what you are looking for and then walk. Once you agree to « just be friends » you are pretty much condemned there forever.
You need to view it as her loss, not yours, so you move on to dating others. In the future don’t get so caught up in just one person so fast, while you are over focused on one you are missing the others that just walked right past you. In the early part of the dating you have to discipline your mind to understand that you are not BF/GF until later down the road (maybe 2 months), and until that happens you are both free to see other people if you choose and are not BF/GF.
Hmm, sounds like she’s got her guard up you should try to chase a lil bit, not too aggressive but try to steer things towards a not just friends yet thing, I know someone who was in limbo with the « i just want to be friends with you » for quite a while and now they’ve been together for like 4 years or so. I wouldn’t give up just yet matey. Though I will say this, the whole » you remind me of an ex » is kind of a red flag.
You showed 0 confidence and she could see it and isnt interested. Most women want a man, not some little pussy boy who is scared of girls