Dating : Where did I go wrong?
In the essence of getting to know someone, you try to find relatable topics and understand their knowledge of such. I find myself generally getting along with the female but fail to create that next step even when sexual tension is brewing between her and I. I figured i’d ask for someone’s two cents on the subject matter. Breaking the ice and becoming on thin ice are two separate things, I form the connection then am unable to seal the deal. Is it that I’m talking too much or too little, where do I bridge that gap to find the sweet spot to settle in. I’m being myself and not putting on a performance. What my main point of this is am I being too nice or not nice enough, because I feel like I keep that balance well adjusted. There’s a lot of ways to go about it, I realize there isn’t a secret recipe to success of scoring a females attention in wanting to pursue you. Females and Guys alike, I want to ask you if you also get stuck in conversational purgatory due to maturity differences and those in your age-group. Is less more in this case, because I’ve seen girls give me the insight that they actually like when I ramble on and on but not annoyingly, informatively and positively. Help me out bro and broettes. Nothing wrong with asking a second opinion overall. 🤙 23 btdubz
My experiences have told me that many women are monkey branchers–always on the lookout for the upgrade. The most attractive women want it all and more–they more or less want a millionaire body builder with the facial features of Brad Pitt, and they’ll dump half of them too if they think they can do better.
I have even experienced the odd situation when I have had woman ghost me who were way below me on the sexual market, who end up with men way below me who don’t work out for them, and I believe that’s all due to hypergamy and the tendency to constantly try to trade up or find the very best.
You can see it in practice as women’s potency to cheat plateaus at 25% in their low 20’s, which is when they are most beautiful (youthful) and fertile. Men have a 25% rating too in their 30’s, when they reach their sexual market peak, so it’s not just women of course, but men kind of stay off the radar here because psychology and biology both tell us that women are the sexual selectors in human beings (like most of the animal kingdom).
Personally I have an idea that it isn’t women by themselves, but it’s hypergamy coupled with modern day technology.
I think about it like this: 100+ years ago you most likely lived in a very small community with only a hand full of prospective suitors. The towns generally knew everyone to some degree, or at least knew of families on some level. Most people belonged to a religion, and virtually all western religions (basically Christianity) pushed very strongly for marriage and shamed promiscuity. Due to this, it was a lot easier to find a mate, get married, have children, and live out your life.
But now days we live in spaced out, massive communities (hell, I live in a little city of 20,000, which is likely many times larger than most communities 100 years ago) where due to communication mediums and online dating, has pushed my potential partner prospects to the thousands. The options out there have become so great that as a man I have a hard time deciding which girls I even want to meet, but because I don’t have hypergamy and I don’t mate select, this is even worse for women.
So I think that’s the real culprit of why girls (guys too, but again, it’s a moot point because men don’t sexually select) are so fickle and wishy washy today. It’s a hookup culture devoid of the social/religious stigmas against promiscuity and not settling down, and an inundation of potential mates that keeps the female brain in constant lookout for the absolute best man she could hope to find.
Remember, studies show that women initiate approximately 75% of all divorces, and somewhere along the lines of 70% of all relationships fail.