Dating : Getting over fear.
I’m in a mixed up situation. It’s rewind time, a few years. I used to be a boring guy in college who plays video games all day and does nothing. On top of it an introvert. So I don’t generally get along with a lot of people except a few of my type. And I tend to overthink as well. So if a nice girl comes along I used fantasize that she’s my GF and all that crap and you know where this is going.
After a few rejections, I realize that the problem is with me. Not good enough. So fuck that, I’m doing my shit from now onwards. After college, I got a job in a huge company and then I started working on myself. I like it when I brag about myself, so let’s be done with that. I started hitting the gym, so I have some muscles now with a tall, lean and dark structure. I get noticed by women more now than when I was in college. I started traveling and ended up liking it. Have done solo trips and tons of hiking. So you can say I’m physically doing well. I’m a programmer and I’m really good at what I’m doing. I like helping people and I really enjoy it. I would say I’m a lot more stronger mentally. I have a set of code and ethics and I strictly abide by it. I’m still an introvert and I get along with people really well, though I always limit my company to a few people that I really know.
But still, the fear of asking a girl out is still alive. Unchanged. And on top of that if the girl I’m asking out is a good friend, the thought of “would she be the same to me after she says no” pops up in my head. Now I like a girl. We share a lot of common interests and values. I like her, but too I’m afraid to ask her out because of 1. Afraid of losing her friendship. 2. Disappointing her. I don’t know if she likes me or not. I’m in a state of confusion. I have went out with girlsl, but not on a date. Like a friends day out. I don’t know what to do. Any advices.?
Your story is pretty much the same as mine, introverted lifeless boy turn fitness junkie who loves code and building businesses, except you’re doing much better on all aspects than I am now currently – but still, too each their own pace.
Like getting up to pitch or talking in front of an audience, that feeling will always be there, the same goes to approaching/dating women – the only way out is to face it head on. Start with other women if you must and slowly learn, either from experience or through a mentor.
Remember all the things you weren’t before and how much you’ve achieved since you turned over a new leaf. Getting out of the comfort zone, striking it big – I’m sure you’re all too familiar with it. It’s the same as in dating and women. Practice, practice, practice – read a lot on women, relationships and dating, then practice some more. There are no magic code to get over this the easy way.