Dating : Getting to know/meet someone new doesn’t particularly excite me anymore
Because they can at anytime disappear and ghost for whatever reason, after a nice conversation, after a nice makeout session, a nice date, hell, even after a steamy night in the bedroom. There’s always this sense of distrust looming in the background, no matter how much you trust the process and the person, no matter how much you « go with the flow » and « play it cool ». When I meet someone new and we hit it off, I’m like « well this is nice and fun » knowing deep inside it could go south at any given moment. What a sad state of affairs? To meet or start talking to someone and not be able to be fully excited about it because they could literally decide to ghost you and dispose of you tomorrow because they’ll have a change of heart, and there’s nothing you can do about it other than trying again with someone else. It turns this whole game into an emotional rollercoaster. There’s been so many times I’ve been excited about a new girl only to later find out all my feelings of excitement were nothing but pure illusions – I had fooled myself thinking there’s something to be excited and happy about, when there literally wasn’t. If you really think about it, that kind of fucks up your own brain’s relationship with your emotions. « Am I excited or do I *think* I am excited? What’s even real anymore? » I used to be excited about getting a notification, getting someone’s attention, connecting with someone new, I used to be very romantic about these things when I was younger, now I’ve just turned into this emotionally numb and hopelessly romantic skeptic who can’t seem to feel much anymore because his heart is so guarded and jaded after so much hurt and disappointment.
Same. I’ve had amazing dates where i thought I really connected with the person and then get immediately ghosted after, whether or not we had sex or did anything. What’s the point lmao.
I felt this deep. Legit want to take a screenshot to remind myself I’m not the only one feeling this.
Yes just had what u thought was a perfect 10 mo relationship and he decided to move and leave me behind, so yes everyone sucks
Yeah that sounds about right.
this is me exactly, to be honest.
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So my story may seem like nothing to some people out there, but its not to me
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After moving to a new city and going on many dates, there was always some kind of problem, I had everything go wrong, I did meet someone and after 3 dates I felt pretty comfortable, only to find out that after the third one she didn’t want to see me anymore, the only explanation I got was that it was hard to explain.
Anyways at that point I felt I may aswell just give up, BUT then this new girl came along who seemed perfect and was actively asking me out. To be honest even with this I still didn’t want to go.
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Well we met up and it was basically perfect, I think the best connection and most compatible person I have ever met… but at this point, I just dont know what to think anymore.
And what happens after the date. Deleted.
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Now if she isnt interested, I am disappointed of course, like normal… but deleted. Why would this person delete me, I will never understand this.
At least you’re able to get that far… I’ve never met anyone in person from an app, I’ve only dated one person as an adult. It hurts
The best way to date. Is just dont look for 1.
I get you. Ofc it is disappointing when something doesn’t work out when you had hope it would. Especially if they handle it in a shitty way.
I try to think of it as a good thing overall though, because it just means you weren’t the right match and that frees you up to continue looking for someone who will be.
I agree that meeting new people doesn’t make me as excited or nervous as it did in the past. I used to put a lot of hope into each dating situationship. But I think I feel better feeling less invested in it at the beginning now because now that’s something that gradually builds for me. So I don’t waste it as much on people who aren’t right for me. Having that emotional distance also makes it much easier to notice red flags and turn down people who aren’t good matches for me. So swings and roundabouts.
I’m sorry you’ve had such bad experiences. I’m a 48 year old guy, fairly recently single, I’ve lived with 4 women over the years and I could not even begin to guess the amount of dates I’ve had in my lifetime. I’m actually still excited to start meeting people and dating again! You can see from the other responses and even looking at your own wants and desires that there are people out there who want to be in a great and healthy relationship. They are out there, trust me on that.
Having realistic expectations is also important and taking things slowly…I am definitely not a person who goes on a date and thinks « this is the one ». I’ve sat on a sofa chatting to a girl until the sun comes up, I’ve met another girl for lunch and chatted to her until the sun went down. I just thought they were great dates and I wanted to see that person again, no expectations. Good luck
>Am I excited or do I think I am excited?
if you THINK you are excited and FEEL excited .. you are excited.
I felt this bro.
I suggest you take a good break from dating. Then how about taking time to really become friends with someone before dating/getting emotionally attached?
I definitely feel you, though, and I’m sorry. I’m starting to feel the same way but haven’t given up yet.