Dating : How to not be boring meeting people at parties?
So I’ve attended a fair few parties in my time. Both big (corporate) and small (house).
So I’ve started and internship and a few interns have organised a house party. Great. But I’m trying to make a good impression.
I don’t think I’m socially awkward or need advice as to how to talk to people. It’s more what I talk to them about. I have a fairly technical job and I really like it (IT) and my hobbies tend to be related. Basically as passionate as I am about what I’m “all about”. I’ve realised it’s not great to talk about to those not in my career stream.
What are some generic things that can evolve into a decent conversations? I don’t want to end up going on a rant on what cool projects IT is doing with the company. I’ve noticed people don’t care as much as me.
Just direct questions/reactions to everyone else. People love to talk about themselves.
Boring is a perspective. If you meet people who are into the same shit as you are then your topics will be of interest to them too.
Maybe some tips:
1. Talk about your projects or whatsoever with confidence, don’t hide it but don’t rant about it. Just be proud of what you do, love etc.
2. Say less, say the general gist of what you want to say and keep it short. End a story with an impact for example: « so i worked on this and that.. The project became a total blast, a win after that. Loved it ». Don’t go into detail unless asked to. If people are interested they will ask for details themselves. This is a conversational techique really.
3. Use humor in your conversations, it’s a party after all.
Most importantly:
You have a certain personality type and you will never be able to be interesting or funny to everyone. Accept that. And focus on the people who you will be most interesting to.
For charisma, humor and conversational techniques (only if interested, don’t think you need it per se):
Search on youtube for charisma on demand channel
#1 tip: don’t talk about IT.
Tbh I don’t really think you have a problem. Just start a conversation and see where it goes also be a good listener.
Take your IT project topics and spin them into real world, day to day topics. See how the two can correlate; then connect with people on a human level.
“Hey, how ‘bout those Mets!”
Drink with them.
Ask open-ended questions, such as “What do you do for fun?” Or “I need a good movie to watch — any suggestions of what’s on Netflix lately?” General questions can turn into intimate getting-to-know-you sessions pretty quickly if you follow up with “Yeah, I love x,y,z about that!” Or “I’ve never tried that — what’s it like?” Ask questions that you have some interest in (art, architecture, animals, movies, current events) and that way it will be easy for you to have comments on their answers. The convo will flow from there.
Endless possibilities! I meet tons of people this way and make meaningful connections. Lots of guys end up asking me for my number or wanting to take me on a date. I’m probably a six (pretty face, a bit overweight) and I get the gamut of interested guys ranging from 17 to 73 years old.