Dating : Girl I’m dating made it clear how much she likes me, but wants time to heal after a recent breakup
Would love some advice for my current situation:
A couple months ago, near the end of my university’s school year, I (19M) met this amazing girl (19F) after initiating a conversation with her that lasted over an hour. Eventually, she asked for my number, and I was shocked as this was the first time a girl has done this to me.
For context, I’ve had one relationship in the past, but it was full of insecurity on my side. I learned a lot about self-confidence/focusing on my goals first from it, and have been practicing these things since the end of that relationship.
After giving her my number, we scheduled our first date to dinner and it was great to chat with her again, especially to see her face without a mask on lol. Definitely haven’t met another girl like her.
A couple days later, the weather was amazing, so I asked if she wanted to go on a walk around campus, and she accepted. After the walk, we sat down and continued to talk, and all I could think about was how a girl as smart, ambitious, beautiful, and thoughtful like her could even exist. Felt like I was living a fairytale; we talked for way too long, there was just so much in common. When the conversation slowed, I gathered up the courage to lean in and kiss her cheek, my first (cheek) kiss!!
Then I walked her back to her dorm as we held hands. She said she had a great time, thanked me, told me to let her know when I got back to my dorm (as it was night by this time), and we said our goodbyes. Once again, I was going crazy, in disbelief at how well the second date went.
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We saw each other a few days later, at a class we shared and I didn’t even realize it until I met her. Following the class, she pulled me aside. She told me she really liked me and wanted more time to heal after a 2-year relationship that ended just a month earlier. All I know about this previous relationship is that her boyfriend criticized her weight, so my best guess is the relationship was a little abusive.
So thanks to what I learned from my previous relationship, I listened and told her to let me know when she felt better again. She restated how much she liked me, how she’d never come across someone like me before. Pretty much everything she said about me, I could also say about her. She said that she wants to give me her full attention, and getting over the breakup will help her do that. I told her how I loved her honesty and thanked her for letting me know. She added how she still wanted to get to know me, maybe get ice cream with her friends or something.
I saw her here and there before school ended, but with finals and projects, I thought it best to put school first and not risk bad grades on a girl I met just a week and a half ago. We continued to text but didn’t get together or go on another date. Summer break arrived.
Fast forward to now, and we’ve been texting back and forth. I’m reading too much into this, but she hasn’t been responding as quickly as she did before. She said she’s been busy with family stuff, and then brought up the idea of FaceTime. I asked her when she’s free to FaceTime, and she has yet to reply. So I figured I should give her some space. We haven’t communicated in nearly 3 weeks. Not sure if she misses me, but I sure do miss her.
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**TL;DR** = met a wonderful girl at university, went on a couple amazing dates. Girl said she wants time to heal after recently leaving a 2-year relationship but told me how much she likes me and not to take it as her dumping me. Been texting since summer break started, but communication stopped 3 weeks ago.
So does this girl actually like me, or is she trying to dump me in a nice way? I want to make sure I emphasize loving myself first, and not to get involved with a girl who is not interested. I think she’s made it abundantly clear how much she likes me, but her radio silence is playing into my insecurities and making me second guess myself. Any advice/thoughts/insight would be appreciated!
She is not sure which is why you are also unsure. Let her lead. Don’t ask her out or for FaceTime (sorry) Meanwhile, I’d start dating others if possible.
I’d lean into it OP- like actually throw out a day and time for facetime.
Things are going on, she was busy, you didn’t escalate or engage when you should have… there’s a very small window of opportunity to salvage this, but it’s closing fast.
Yea seems like she may need things to slow down a bit. But let her come to you especially since she is coming out of a relationship
Long story short: u were about becoming a rebound, but instead became text buddy- friendzone guy. You should’ve escalade things forward when she was giving u all these IOIs, buy instead u kissed on cheek, got fall in love and twrew urself str8 to friendzone.
Next time: get things sexual as fast as u can. Don’t rush, but escalade smoothly. 2 meetups and kiss on cheek, Caarl? Its ok, you’re learning.
Ps: don’t pay tooo much attention on women’s words. Watch actions. They speak louder.
Pps: phone is for making plans, getting dates. Its not for talking non stop..
Ppss: never get excited too much too soon. At least before having 3-4mo of intimate relationship with her.