Dating : Girl is awesome, looks nothing like her photos M26 F30’s
Met a girl yesterday after talking for over a week. We both have the same sense of humor and everything flows so well. So, I meet her yesterday and I am not attracted at all physically. I tried to be, but I just don’t have it. Not only did she look different in her photos, but she wasn’t as attractive and she was way heavier, which I am not against someone heavier, but this was too heavy for me. I feel like an asshole because we connected so well, but I had to force everything in person because I just was not into it. I think she really likes me and I feel bad.
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TL;DR-Girl and me talked for over a week. Met and she doesn’t look like her photos.
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Update: It isn’t just about weight in the photos. She looks completely different in person. I don’t know if it is the snapchat filters or the editing, but it is kind of mind blowing. Like, I don’t mind heavier at all. I will be with a girl even if shes heavier, but it is just weird to me of how different she looks from what I expected. She even said after dinner, »Do I look anything like my photos? » I told her yes when I should have been honest. I was just trying to get out of there without making a scene.
NTA. Physical attraction is an important part of a sexual/romantic relationship. Plus, she’s being deceitful, that’s a red flag on its own.
I wouldn’t feel bad. Physical attraction is extremely important. As a side note, I simply cannot understand the logic behind people who do this. How could they possibly think that it wouldn’t be an issue?
I had the same thing happen to me. She was about 150 pounds heavier than her picture.
I’d suggest at least telling her « hey this isn’t going to work out. also fyi your photos are very different to how you look in person. you might want to update your pics »
Not necessarily drawing attention to her being overweight but maybe pointing out to her subtly that she could be also using too much filter with too much focus neck/chest up.
She didn’t tell you ahead of time that she was bigger in person?
I take decent photos of myself but I am very up front about being chubby and looking chubbier in person. The last thing I want to do is give a bad impression.
Just tell her you don’t see it going anywhere. I wouldn’t mention the attraction thing if you don’t want to hurt her.
I hope you find someone! (:
Nothing wrong with that. Girls would do the same if a guy was shorter than he advertised
Bruh. If she was untruthful about herself you have no reason to feel like you do. That’s her problem, not yours. NEXT.
No need to feel bad. People aren’t interested in people they meet all the time.
Lots of people here are saying she was being deceitful – well it really depends on the discrepancy. If she was like 5-10lbs heavier in person then those photos could well just be a few months old. If she was like 50lbs heavier, then yes it’s deceitful.
But as a heavier lady myself (working on losing the weight but it hasn’t affected my dating life at all), sometimes it creeps up on you and you might delude yourself that those photos from last year where you were 5-10lbs lighter still look like you, until you get a wake up call!
So I wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she was trying to deceive, she could be deluded as to the recent severity of her weight gain. I’ve been there!
Experienced the same thing once.
Matched with a girl on OKC, and we got it off so well, I genuinely just wanted to meet her ASAP!
Before we met, she warned me: I don’t really look anything like my pictures/you won’t be attracted to me. But I thought, « how different could she look, eh? » Boy, I felt catfished.
I did tell her in the end that I wasn’t physically attracted to her. But things turned sour after. I’d say play your cards well – if you’re the honest, straightforward, kind, do what feels most natural to you. How they react will be a gamble, but come clean.
That’s just part of it. I connected really well over text with a guy. Met in person and it was a total no. I can’t explain it other than I just did not like his energy. He didn’t seem to enjoy life and I just cant do that. Did not come off that way in person.
bro if it’s a pic of her then it’s not a lie. she’s not being intentionally manipulative or deceitful just bc you or anyone else thinks she looks heavier irl.
i take really great selfies. it takes me like a million tries and i’m not photogenic but when i get one that looks good then hooray. i’m not going to intentionally upload an unflattering picture of myself to a dating website just bc i possess the ability to look uglier than my good selfie, and id never expect anyone else to either. tbh i wish more people would put in an effort with their photos instead of settling for subpar pics.
like it’s fine for you to not be attracted to her. people are different in person, that’s just the way it is. sometimes they’re prettier in person. sometimes they’re not as pretty. wherein ofc beauty is subjective.
She lied to you, forget about her
Blindfold?
Same thing happened to me last week. She got out the car and I was already thinking, I don’t know about this. But the date was awkward, texted her afterwards to give us another chance on another date but she tells me the date was awkward and didn’t want to see me again. I was relieved but like I already knew it was awkward, I was just being nice and the only reason I was willing to give us a chance is because I wasn’t even initially attracted to my ex who I ended up dating for 6 years.
I am dealing with this right now!
I met a lady online. Shes awesome. Has goals. A job. Likes video games. We have tons in common and the things we dont we can laugh about.
I met her in person and she looked nothing like her pictures….. we still hung out. And have talked after.
But I have no physical attraction to her. I like bigger girls. Dont get me wrong I’m all about thick thighs saving lives. But she just isn’t my type.
She has admitted to me she liked me. Shes cool and all. I just don’t wanna hurt her feelings. Idk what to do and I don’t wanna lead her down the rabbit hole.
Physical attraction is important dude, and she LIED about hers. shes trying to build on a foundation of lies
Do you want to be with someone who is a liar?
Do you want to be with someone you’re not attracted to?
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You can lead her on, but I’m not sure why. You’re only going to make it harder for her.
She lied to you before you even met.
Absolutely no reason for people not to put honest photos.
No need to feel bad. She probably does not want to be with someone who does not find her attractive either. It is the best for both of you.
At the end of the day, it was on her to represent herself honestly and didn’t, and you can’t be responsible for that.
For me personally, if the conversation is good, she’s into you, and you share a lot of sense of humor and all that, I prefer to have the « whole picture » before dumping somebody. Because basically, until it becomes physical, this is just a friendship and she’s done nothing to merit dumping a friend – and also, you might be surprised how somebody you’re not typically attracted to can change that if the sex is good.
Next!
This has happened to me once. I bailed immediately and learned from it. Do not feel bad. She is a dishonest person who misrepresented herself.
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I vet better now. I’ve literally asked dozens of women « Are you fat? I can’t tell from your photos ». This is the way to address this one.
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If she is fat, she’ll either admit it, or get butthurt and not want to meet anyway.
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If she’s not fat but in the mood for shit testing, she’ll say something like « That’s so shallow » to which I reply « Health is one of my highest values so it’s important the women I date value their health ».
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Otherwise, if she’s not fat, she’ll tell you so and usually try to prove it by sending photos.
Update: It isn’t just about weight in the photos. She looks completely different in person. I don’t know if it is the snapchat filters or the editing, but it is kind of mind blowing. Like, I don’t mind heavier at all. I will be with a girl even if shes heavier, but it is just weird to me of how different she looks from what I expected.
Not the same, but I went on a date where on the guy’s profile he listed his height at 5’6, but in reality he was probably 5’2. I feel shallow for judging since I’m short as well, but that kind of put me off as well.
What do you mean by doesnt look like her photos: her photo was a fake? it was severely photoshopped? it was 10 years older when she was younger and slimmer?
She should have known better than posting old/deceitful pics. You can’t make yourself like someone physically, you either do or you don’t. So don’t blame yourself. Sexual attraction is of paramount importance in a relationship, don’t u ever ignore it. And, yeah, of course she likes you, cause I guess you posted the real pics. So, she kinda got the delivery that she ordered and u didn’t.
So dude, you said it yourself : I am not attracted **at all** physically. It says it all
Don’t blame yourself, just tell her that you see it as a friendly relationship, that’s it.
She cat fished you. Wasn’t even truthful.