Dating : Men say they want women to pursue them, but when it actually happens it rarely works
i see so many guys on here saying they wish women would make the first move/ outside them ,but tbh , from my own experience , when i or my friends have been the one to chase a guy, it ends in rejection. Of course , women get rejected too, it’s part of dating and not everyone is going to like you, but it seems there’s something that makes a guy lose interest when a women does the chasing.
i’ve always found that if a guy is into me, he’ll go for it and there is no need for me to chase him .
The majority of people you chase have no interest, that’s the same for men. It’s not because you chased them, it’s because they aren’t interest in me. A guy only chases you if he’s interested, so it’s all confirmation bias.
Men who say they want women to chase them aren’t being disingenuous, but just because you chase doesn’t meant they like you in return. Just as when you are chased, you don’t like everyone who chases you.
This is exactly how it feels to be a guy. It’s not unusual. It’s just the say initiating works. It s a lot if energy and a lot of rejection. Girls just have to to sit back and reject guys. Very easy. Make a them take for granted how hard it is to approach
Look, the truth is we want women that make an effort. We don’t want to be « chased ». We don’t really want to chase you (maybe a little once in a while, just so we’ll value you). There’s a difference between letting me know you’re interested and beating down my door to get me to « fall in love with you ». Just show me you want me, that you care, and you aren’t treating me like an option/doormat/God-almighty. I don’t like pedestals and I don’t like feeling « beneath you ». I want you to treat me *equally* – not better, not worse.
If a guy is truly interested in you, he will be receptive to you making the first move and pursuing him; he will set up dates and make time to see you. If he rejects you, that means either he was never interested in you, or you turned him off somehow in your interaction with him.
I always am confused on how to approach this. i’m 19f and over the past few months i’ve been pursuing guys i like more instead of waiting for them pursue me.
like currently, i’m talking to a guy and i asked him out first. first date went amazing but ended pretty poorly (i have a post about it in more detail). i still like him a lot, and think there’s actually potential with him, so i am still trying to pursue him. i want him to know the date ending on a bad note didn’t ruin everything.
my issue is, i feel like he (and all guys) think this seems desperate. i don’t really know where the line is between “attractive chasing” and desperation. i feel like if he was into me he would show more of an effort.
Works both ways.
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If you pursued a guy and he didn’t reciprocate, it means exactly what you think: he wasn’t interested.
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Had a woman pursue me which I found flattering, of course, but I just wasn’t interested in her so I didn’t reciprocate any of her advances/moves. Plus, she had 3 kids.
I dont think you understand the logic of all this.
Women only chase men who are way beyond her level, who they have little/no hope with anyway. That’s why rejection happens. We’re talking like a 3/10 woman with nothing to offer, chasing after the 10/10 rich high status male model. Of course you’re going to get rejected by a man like that. He has access to far hotter women, he’s not going to waste time on you.
Now if you were to chase men who are on your level, you’d have different results. These men would be receptive to your advances.
Usually a woman will chase a guy way out of her league if she ever makes the effort. Not surprised to see a high rejection rate in that instance. Now you see what men have to put up with. Most men are rejected, even when approaching a fat whale of a woman.
I had a long winded answer but I decided to keep it short. Anxiety is a asshole & I deal with it medically & because of this I prefer she makes the first move. If it doesn’t workout I try to encourage a friendship instead.
Welcome to this side of the fence. News flash it rarely works for guys either. That’s why guys often say « it’s a numbers game ». For every girl that likes you, you might chase 5-10 that don’t.
Because when you chase a guy who has a ton of options he doesn’t give a shit.
Ta Da!
Maybe stop being so shallow?
I hate to say this but I have to agree with you a bit here. Anytime I had a guy show me interest when making the move on him, he was either feeling an ego boost (not genuine interest), or his feelings were not mutual.
But there is a way to make the first move on a guy and he can accept you for a date, or whatever. It’s usually if you can confirm he has a thing for you too. That’s the only exception that works, and that requires more than just liking and confessing to the guy.
Yikes, just look at it with a different lens, you seem to be irritated about the situation.
Most men DO want to be asked out, just not by you.
I’ve never had a woman ask me out so it could be because I’m a 4 and you are asking out 10s
« My success rate isn’t 100%, clearly men hate being approached »
well can’t speak for every guy, many guys out there hate and resent how they always have to be the initiators
the problem is that you women think men are fucking mind readers and we get an insanely tiny window to make a move and if we simply make no move, you IMMEDIATELY move on. you women get off on rejecting men. you’re all gross and rude and think you deserve a king. I’m at the point where if a girl chased me I would never notice and even if I did I would ignore. none of ya are really worth a damn
I don’t care if a woman asks me out first, but they’re not going to be girlfriend material. I’m just going to pump & dump since I know they’re horny enough to ask me out lol.
I used to think it would be nice if girls chased me but then I noticed that I was turned off by all the girls who did it. It seems desperate and that’s a turn off. But then, I wouldn’t have been attracted to any of them even if they hadn’t chased me, so who knows.
Agreed. I think it’s because the chase doesn’t exist when we initiate. It’s too easy and no fun.