Dating : Got too attached with what was supposed to be a temporary hook up.
I (M/26) got into this thing with a girl last Saturday. We had gone on a date like 2 months ago but we never spoke afterwards because none of us was too interested I guess. However, last Saturday I texted her out of the blue to get together and it went as well as I could have expected. She’s leaving the country for at least a year in about 3 weeks, so after hooking up we made this agreement to keep “seeing” each other until she left.
However, after 5 days of this she became aware of how infatuated I was with her. I’m not used to this kind of relationship and I wasn’t expecting to like her so much. I had a big old smile the whole time and was eager to spend those 3 weeks with her just staying in her room having sex, talking and getting to know her wasas much as I could. She was smart, nice, funny, had good taste in music, all of it.
She dumped me because of how clingy I got. She told me it made no sense for us to share so much and that she was only into a physical thing with me. I reacted, well, poorly, Some tears were shed but we got some nice last words in and agreed to not see each other again. She also told me that she isn’t interested in pursuing another kind of relationship with me, so I’m not about to keep texting her or anything.
We both agreed we had a good time and I guess I did get a nice closure, I told her that I’m aware I projected too much onto her because this last month has been specially draining for me and she was the best experience I’ve had in a while. The whole thing ended in quite a mature and uplifting fashion, but the whole thing is killing me right now. I miss her so much it embarrasses me and knowing that she’s still here and I won’t get to see her just hurts. I hate that the adult thing to do is to just leave her alone and to allow myself to grow past this, but that is exactly what I’ll do.
I’m aware it’s naive to get this attached to a person you just met, but she was everything I find attractive in a woman and I didn’t realize it until the very end. I’m a sad mess writing this but I hope it’ll go away tomorrow, or soon. I just needed to vent this somewhere, thanks for reading.
Tbh start writing music , let your feelings out , it works.
Man u need to avoid fantasies with people.
My advice is find someone that is miles out of your league and use up all your fantasizing on them so you never put enormous pressure on the lovely dates you have
Thank you for writing this. I don’t know if it matters, but your post really helped me, as it gave me hope that it’s possible for all of us to one day feel the same you did about this other person. Thanks for sharing.
I’m in a very similar situation. I’ve never felt anything like I did with her, best 3 months of my life so far: heart racing when our eyes meet, delicious conversation, incredible sex, party partner. But, she’s gone and I don’t want to keep missing something that cannot be and probably will not be.
I’m not whom I used to be when we met, nor who I will be when she returns. Neither will she. Hard to make up my mind about it, tho. I believe that the best way to proceed is to just move on, and see how it feels when she’s back, however we’re still texting and chatting on a daily basis and I don’t fucking know.
Good on you for having a clear way to proceed. It’s way better than to feel the uncertainty of indecision.
If you knew she was leaving, I don’t know how you caught feelings.
What is it a « she was out of my league supermodel » type deal?
Hahahahahahahah