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Dating : I know…Don’t date when married, but?…advice please, and thank you.

Dating : I know…Don’t date when married, but?…advice please, and thank you.


Okay, so I’ve been congitating posting anything for months and months now, and have finally decided too. Bit of a long story but I’ll try and make this quick.
About 6 months ago beginning in January, I was at work -new job and state since Sep.- this woman caught my eye, in turn, I made sure that she knew she had caught my eye. We struck up a conversation and hit it off immediately, immensely.
She was fully honest with me from the beginning stating that yes she is married, and has been on/off together with periods of separation of said husband for about 15 years, as he’s always been there close by/around. They have two kids together at 7 & 15 of opposite genders.
She did explain that although married, the love and want even, of the relationship is long been dead, and is more of a cohabitation ordeal. He’s cheated a multitude of times, in which she had cheated once to get away from him. In response he began the ole’ I’ll kill myself, the kids, you, and my family, blah blah blah routine to get her back at that time.

Over the last few months we’ve been seeing each other, awkwardly the husband works at the same place as her and I. The difference being shifts. She wants to leave the husband but is quite scared over the children’s safety, not to mention her own. Plus, the guy is the size of a miniature fucking building while she is quite small.
I don’t believe any falsehoods have been told my way as for wanting to be away from him, and her and I continuing life together. I’ve got one child as well. Our relationship is entirely in the open as everyone knows about it, nothing is hidden. The normal ‘spending time at breaks, kissing, hugging, the whole 9’ is a nightly occurrence. She is an extremelyyyy conservative woman, of which I’ve fallen madly attracted to, and in love with. Obversly the feelings are extensively reciprocated.

She as far as I am aware, has not lied about a singular thing since the beginning. They sleep in separate rooms even. I know one should never get involved with a technically married woman. Yet, the draw I feel is too strong to even think about quitting. He’s constantly berating her now bc she won’t put out, and hasn’t in the last 8 months, in any way.
She’s one of those that doesn’t talk to anyone at work at all almost, doesn’t put her business out there, won’t even wear a tank top type that alot of females do. She’s a ‘Jesus in the streets, Satan in the sheets’ type which is amazing.
I’ve been in many long term relationships as that’s all I’ll be in, never had a one night stand or anything like that, and non concedingly, I’m quite the attractive Male. This woman though, is literally everything I have ever wanted in someone. All the way down to the way she Carrie’s herself, her smile, body, personality, conservativism, affection, brains or IQ if you will, the only woman I’ve ever been with of which I would marry in a heartbeat. Which has never once been the case with anyone I’ve ever been with. Milf, is an understatement. Btw, I’m 27m her being a 39f, yes quite the age difference yet, I’m not your normalized young Male. My last relationship was around 5 years with a woman who was 10 years older, and was great except her tantrums. I refuse to date a younger woman any longer as they highly seem immature, and know not what they want. Older women though -case by case variable- know what they want, what they like, and will happily tell you what.

Okay, so we’re trying to get a place together currently, anything of which enables her to get out of the daily, constant immediate danger shes in, being around the husband. Also, the husband doesn’t love her either he’s just become complacent, additionally a man whom is possessive, and controlling. He is on the whole ‘Noone else can have you, and I don’t want you either, but your staying.’ Like a toy in a toy box. She almost had to call the police on him the other night after he was drinking and she wouldn’t put out. He begun saying things like, ‘I’m going to join tinder if you don’t’ and ‘so, we can sleep with other people then.’ To which she responded ‘yes’ and ‘whatever, I don’t care what you do.’ Also, I’ve seen the text and things of which nature that maybe I’d ever been second guessing, or thought wasn’t quite true, and she showed without issue, me everything.
Now I’m no dumb man by any means, I question everything and take it all with a grain of salt as I know there are always two sides to everything. Yet again, anything questionable thing she has been 100% open and honest about. I want this to work, I’d like for this to be my last relationship as I’ve always dreamed of that one that made me happy in every way possible, and vice versa. She wants this to work also, and will do any and everything to ensure this.
I’m not sure really what kind of advice or questions I have on this subject, but I guess I’m asking all of you, redditors, to be subjective and ask me about anything I’ve forgotten, or to be skeptical.?

Thank you all for the time and responses. I wish you the best!❤

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Tinder : The link redirects to the playlist seen on the right, normal conversation is in Dutch so I translated it

Dating : Finding New Love After Heartbreak | A Step Towards Moving On