Dating : Guys who don’t live in my city, or who do but are about to go out of town for an extended period – asking me out, rant
I’m not sure if this is an issue because I live in a major city. But it’s kind of annoying me that a sizeable portion of guys matching with me on location based apps and asking me out either do not live here (tourists) or are about to go on vacation or out of the city for an extended period of time. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I need to screen folks who message me, to see where they are actually from and casually ask them if they have any exciting travel plans in the near future. I wish that there was something I could do to avoid these types. It makes location-based apps pointless, if the guy is not even local, or won’t be local for several weeks after we meet up the first time. Anyone else feel this way?
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I’ve gone out with a few guys in the past couple years who do not attempt to follow up with me after our second date, leaving me thinking they aren’t interested. Which is fine. But then they pop up later saying they were simply out of town. I’ve had guys ask me out and preface it by saying, well can we meet sooner than later, I’m about to go (insert foreign country here) for six weeks. And I turn them down, because who wants to meet under those circumstances?
One guy asked me out, I gave him my phone number, and it turns out he was soon headed out of state for a summer law internship. When I turned him down after hearing that, he seemed totally perplexed and said « it’s only a few months, I’ll be back in the fall. » Really??
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It almost feels like some kind of tactic on their end for a pump and dump. This is esp annoying bc I’m actually interested in a relationship, and I just don’t see how that can develop if I go on a first or second date with someone… and they leave the city for a month or three after that. Or perhaps that is the reason they do this?
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A guy who seemed great asked me to have coffee the next day or day after. I ended up not feeling well that day, and asked to reschedule and he said that was fine. When I felt better and wanted to reach out again a few days later, I glanced at his profile and saw that he was miles away. No problem, I figured he was just on vacation. A few weeks later, his profile is still showing as being several miles away. I don’t even think he lives here, lol.
Does this annoy anyone else?
I have wondered the same thing. Why so many people go on one or two dates, right before a multi-week or multi-month trip, express interesting in staying on touch to get back together, and then during the trip, they are silent or get distant.
Sometimes I think it’s a scam to be able to grab some quick skin action (if they get such a partner match) and then be able to distance with a seemingly reasonable reason.
Omggg I had a date like this a couple days ago!! He said he is going to peru for a couple weeks. I was like ok cool 2 weeks isn’t too bad. So I go on the date with him and he reveals it’s actually almost 5 weeks. I was thinking great, thanks for wasting my time becuase there is no way interest will be kept for that long.
I had mentioned I had a puppy at home so after the getting coffee portion of the date (which I was just eh about after the long vacation mention) he tried to pull the whole « Ohh I need to meet your puppy!! Not to be too forward but i’d like to go see him ». I lived 1 mile away so I was like » I mean I’ll go get him and we can take him somewhere, but you’re not coming over. I don’t know you yet ». Then he said well we can go do something else and he’ll figure it out as we are walking to our seperate cars. I get to my car and 5 minutes later he calls and pulls the whole « gosh I am sooo sorry my friend told me I need to pick something up for work tomorrow, but i’ll text you right after. Plus I’d love to see you after I get back. Byeee! ». Haven’t heard a peep, which can’t say I’m sad about. It was an interesting lie because he was on work leave, as he was leaving 2 days later. He ditched me because I wouldn’t bang him lol. Bullet dodged.
So yeah basically it’s a ploy to get in your pants. Won’t ever make that mistake again. They can hit me up after vaca if they haven’t already forgot about me, but never will I meet them before hand again.
Attractive dudes with options dont commit
If you’re talking about tinder, everyone knows what its reputation is.
Nobody would ever join eHarmony looking for a hookup. That’s ridiculous. But if you reverse that and join tinder for a serious relationship, it’s totally ok and seems to be standard practice for some reason, lol
Anyway, your post reminds me of a woman that messaged me on OKC a couple of weeks ago. She said she was from Brazil and only here on vacation for a few weeks. Obviously all that could happen is a hookup/fling. But if I go for that, then I’m a « douchebag ». So how the hell is that supposed to work.