Dating : Having one night stands without smoking?
Hi there!
I was a bit hesitant to make this post, but I hope the situation is understandable.
I was a weed smoker before and I am usually attracted to these type of « hippie » girls who usually smoke weed. When i met some girl I liked out at a club, party etc, I usually asked them at the end of the night « Hey do you want to head back to my place and smoke a joint? ».
The response has been 100% yes (even if we did not end up smoking), and have always lead to sex (and sometimes short lasting relationships). I think it worked so well since its a specific fun activity to do together at the end of the night, and acts as an « excuse » to go home together. Its a natural environment for sex to happen, but it still not what you are directly asking for.
Now I im not that into smoking anymore (mainly because its hindering my full potential as a person). When i dont have access to weed I have no idea what im gonna ask a girl i meet to come to my place. « Do you want a cup of tea » just dont seem to cut it. If i had asked these girls « Do you wanna go home to me and fuck? » i think the response rate would be 100% no.
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As you see, I found a method that really worked, but its not long term. To be dependent on a drug for getting sex is still drug dependency, and i feel I shouldn’t need any excuse to have sex. I feel sort of embarrassed writing this, but it also feels good to get it out. I wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation and know what I could do to get healthier sex habits? Thanks for reading
ANY reason will do. Including tea. Or meeting your pet rock.
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I’m at a point now that on almost every date where there’s mutual attraction, I just say « Let’s go for a walk ».
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They never ask where.
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And I walk us back to my place.
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I made a video + article about this recently: [https://youtu.be/vw6oot7wTR8](https://youtu.be/vw6oot7wTR8)
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Anything like:
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« Let’s go for a walk »
« Let’s get out of here. I have a great bottle of wine at my place »
« I want you to meet my pet cat »
« I’m hungry, let’s cook a pizza »
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Or plant the seed earlier e.g. « What’s your favourite Disney movie? » She says « Lion King »
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Later, you say: « I have a great idea. Let’s grab some popcorn and watch the Lion King ».
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If she’s into you, she’ll happily accept any suggestion you offer. ANY.
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If she’s SUPER into you, she’ll may even beat you to the punch by asking stuff like:
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« Do you have a phone charger at your place? »
« I want to see the view from your balcony? »
« Can I use your bathroom? » (yes, I’ve had women say this to me while we were at a bar which had its own bathrooms)
« Can you show me xyz thing you told me about which is conveniently located at your place? »
« I’d love to meet your dog »
Go back for a good beer/wine/ etc that you have at your place. Learn how to make an awesome mixed drink or two and keep the ingredients on hand even.
Asking what movies they have wanted to see, especially if they’re ones on Netflix and then saying you should go watch it.
Also just planning to go back there after an activity, like saying « Hey I gotta go change or grab this at my place, want to go with? We could even chill for a minute. »
> « Hey do you want to head back to my place and ~~smoke a joint~~ have a drink? ».
Simple. It’s been working for eons.
Promiscuous lifestyles are bad, but either way it doesn’t really matter what your excuse is.
Ask her to come to your place to show her your book collection or watch listen to a new heavy metal cd you got.
My ex-roommate used to use “wanna play Rock Band?” It worked.
Also maybe keep some weed for guests only. The ladies might still love it!
I developed a really cool system too, see, I go to this place every day, and if I hand them 10$ they hand me food. It’s great. But, you see, I stopped working, and well I don’t have 10$ anymore, but I still want the food… So, how do I go about getting the food for free?
You gotta be kidding me… I literally got INTO weed because it was so attractive to girls, and yeah, I can tell you without it I 100% would struggle more and I already struggle.
You just have to go to another vice… Hey, want to keep drinking at my place? Are you into food? I can cook a mean… You gotta have some kind of pull, it’s not like they’re just going to go home with you otherwise, there needs to be a story, she needs an excuse for why it was a mistake and she wasn’t thinking straight etc.
Don’t be afraid to simply ask “would you like to go home with me?”