Dating : Heaving making out and no sex
40+ guy here. When I was a teenager, making out and not having sex was pretty normal. I thought I’m well past that, but I’ve had a few dating experiences recently I’d like to get female opinion on.
So, it is a first date. The girl is about 30. We go out, have drinks, and it slowly progresses into extremely heavy making out session – in the bar, then in the car. And then…nothing. She says she likes me a lot, but I’m not getting any today.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the rules of the game and I’m cool with that. No hurt feelings. In fact, I enjoyed that night regardless. I’m just curious about what may have been on her mind?
Normally, if I get as far as her panties, this means we will end up having sex tonight. Well, apparently not necessarily. Could have been one off, but I actually had a few experiences like that recently, which prompted me to write this post.
I’m well aware that it could be anything, ranging from her being on her period to not wearing a sexy enough bra. Still, would be interesting to hear what girls on reddit think on that situation.
If you go out with a guy, like him, make out with him for an hour, let him touch you practically everywhere – and in the end go back to your place by yourself. Why?
Maybe she was on her period. Maybe she only wanted to make out. Maybe she had a yeast infection or UTI. Maybe she wasn’t shaved/trimmed down there. Maybe she has crabs or something. Maybe she just didn’t want to fuck you on the first date.
There’s literally a million reasons why. Don’t over think it.
>Still, would be interesting to hear what girls on reddit think on that situation.
>If you go out with a guy, like him, make out with him for an hour, let him touch you practically everywhere – and in the end go back to your place by yourself. Why?
For me, that’s because I only want to have sex with someone I love dearly and who dearly loves me. Granted, I’m 23, so maybe my input isn’t too relevant for your situation, but I figured you’d still want people to weigh in. I’m quite unusual though. I detest hookup culture and wanted nothing to do with it. I was perfectly happy being a virgin my whole life because hey, my hand makes me orgasm just fine, not like I need someone else to help me. Zero interest. And I never experienced attraction to anyone until falling for my now partner of three years. So yeah. I’m an anomaly. But for me, sex is an expression of affection for someone I genuinely love.
She didn’t want you to think she’s a slut on the 1st date.
> She says she likes me a lot, but I’m not getting any today.
You just needed to wait till after midnight, that’s when the next day starts.
It might be any factor you mentioned, but also consider that it might be what is commonly known as « shit test » where she tests if you get frustrated if she rejects your advances towards sex. I’ve had this happen so many times already – women usually say it on the way to my place and many of them don’t remember any of it when we make out again at mine. Of course if she keeps rejecting the advances then stop, I don’t need to say this. But when it comes to women (perhaps also men) on things like these: don’t listen to what she says and instead observe what she does.
It’s important to handle this gracefully, and while there are several ways, the simplest is: « kay » followed by picking up a different topic.
What’s the reason? Don’t know, don’t care. Regardless, the 3 strikes rule is still employed. If you don’t gain access by date 3, kick her out of your life and move on. Remember, somewhere in her past there’s a college beer pong champ, or tennis instructor, or personal trainer, or MLB pitcher who she *did* sleep with the first night.
I am only 22 (female). But I never have sex on the first date. Sometimes I do make out, but no sex. Guys won’t get into my panties on the first date. After that, the second date (assuming there is one) might have more making out, sometimes sex. If a guy does get inside my panties then there will be intercourse, but not always that night.
Of course, sometimes periods do interfere and there won’t be sex on the second date or later. I don’t like period intercourse. Sometimes a guy will get into my panties and feel the string on my tampon; other times I will say something like « in a few days » or « I’m all plugged up » or even that I am on my period.
When I don’t have intercourse due to my period I will still like to sleep cuddled with the guy, but some girls would rather go home and sleep alone then.
So don’t over-think it. If a girl does make out with you there will probably be sex on a future date.
Making out doesn’t automatically mean it will lead to sex. Simple as that. It could be many reasons that other people mentioned like being on period, maybe she has some health issues down there atm, maybe not shaved. But I think many women wouldn’t have sex on the first date because they don’t want to be seen easy and they want to do it with someone they have a genuine connection with.
I generally wouldn’t make out on a first date, but I might on a second date. I would never have sex on a second date, but I also wouldn’t get naked with a guy on a second date. I think it is a bit odd that she let things go so far on a first date and then stopped, but we all have our limits. I love making out! I am 39. It will never get old to me. Physical affection is one of my primary love languages. Sex is a big deal to me though. I don’t have sex with a man unless we are in an exclusive relationship and I really like him.
its the 1st date, she probably has standards and likes you a lot.
Usually in my situations like that, the chick usually always Fvks on the 2nd date. Some women just have codes they live by, and don’t fvk on the 1st date. Its better than dating a chick in 2019 who still doesn’t kiss on 1st dates.