Dating : How do i improve myself to get a girlfriend? The stuff that women are attracted to are hard to get or you are born with it, such as
being important, dominant personality, being tall, high testosterone …I can be assertive, its not natural for me.
None of those are the things women are attracted to dude. Women are attracted to confidence. They get turned off by arrogance though. Be competent, keep things light they love good natured humor, most importantly don’t listen to men about what women want. Each woman is a unique individual and will be attracted to different traits. But seriously competency, confidence, and good natured jokes will take you very very far. Confidence is not believing everything will work out in your favor all the time. It’s knowing that everything will be fine either way. Get rejected? Eh you’ll be alright there’s plenty of other people to talk to and at the end of the day you’re still alright, brush rejection off with a good joke (for instance play like you’ve misinterpreted the rejection. If you ask to buy her a drink and she responds with I think I’m gonna leave actually or something to that effect say « wow you’re forward, your car or mine? » Make sure to laugh and indicate you’re joking) this can sometimes even change their mind. I believe in you dude.
Edit: Y’all really missed the whole point of what I was saying which was each woman will be attracted to something different physically so focus on the universal things women are attracted to. I’m done responding to you clowns
When it comes to dating, commitment, and relationships, it’s important to understand that these things are skills that must be developed.
Nobody is born with the knowledge necessary to make dating and relationships successful; they learn what does and doesn’t work over a period of time through trial and error, or exposure from those around them.
The first step in getting a girlfriend, is exactly what you’ve done here, ask questions.
____
**Step 1: Self Exploration & Realization**
The first thing you need to do is figure out who you are. A lot of people skip over this step, and in doing so, end up with less than ideal partners that they’re settling for, because they don’t want to be alone.
Before focusing on dating other people, you need to essentially date yourself. You need to learn what John likes to do, what Jonh’s hobbies are, what John’s interests are. You need to figure out what you enjoy putting your time into.
Not only that, but you need to figure out what John lacks. What his weaknesses are, what he struggles with, what he wants to improve upon. Imagine how you’d go about learning everything you could about a really cute girl you’re interested in, and do that with yourself. You need to have a really good idea of who John is.
_____
**Step 2: Self-Development & Improvement**
Connecting with the first , once you find some things you aren’t too happy with, you have the freedom to develop and improve those less than desirable qualities.
The options you have available in regards to change can be books, either paperback or audio, courses, seminars, YouTube tutorials, or just word of mouth advice from people you feel you can trust. I don’t think it’s shared enough how lucky we are as a society that we have as much information available to us as we do.
You can literally learn any skill you wish to learn, so long as you dedicate yourself to it. This naturally makes you more mature, and gives you higher self-esteem and confidence as you tackle and master different skills.
Want to learn to be dominant? Find people that are dominant and learn from them. Read books on dominant behavioral practices. Same thing with raising testosterone. There are certain foods and sexual practices that raise this hormone in men.
Naturally, there will be qualities that you simply can’t adjust, like eye color, nose size, or height. Don’t worry about these things. They’re mostly irrelevant when it comes to finding love. If you’re put off by women that say you need to be 6 feet to date them, guess what, you’re not interested in them. Simple as that. Why waste your time trying to impress someone that doesn’t appreciate all that you are?
_____
**Step 3: Figuring Out Your Values**
Through self realization, and self development, if it was necessary, you’re now able to analyze your personal values.
This is something I don’t feel enough men do in their single periods, and they end up getting with women that don’t align with their personal values, which end up in messy breaks ups or divorces.
It’s not only important to know who you are, but it’s equally as important to understand what you value, and what you feel is worth fighting for, what you feel is most important in life. Once you’ve figured out your personal values, you’re able to actually date women properly, by getting to know them and figure out what their values are.
Then, dating goes from trying to find someone who’s hot enough to fuck, and tolerable enough to be around, to trying to find someone who shares your goals, ambitions, interests, and values.
____
**Step 4: Dating Women & Learning About Relationships**
After you’ve discovered your values, you’re able to date women and experience many different personalities. Dating isn’t suppose to be difficult. Finding someone to be with long term, yes, that can be challenging, but dating in itself is only meant to experience and learn about different people, as well as yourself.
The issue with dating today, is everybody moves too quickly in trying to be in a relationship. There is too much comparison with one another, and nobody is willing to take the time to truly learn what they want in a partner other than someone to hold them at night.
When you date, you date to learn and communicate with people. You date to figure out what type of people you want to be around. You date to figure out what type of people you’d rather avoid and leave alone.
You learn how to laugh, how to have fun, how to kiss, how to cuddle, how to give compliments, how to have great sex, how to handle conflict maturely, and how to be supportive of someone other than yourself.
Dating should always be meant to give and express the love which is already within you. Unfortunately, too many people use dating as a means to find that love in other people, because they can’t cultivate it for themselves. This creates unhealthy attachments and dependencies.
If you’d like an all encompassing book that’ll teach you the best tactics and methods of dating and maintaining healthy and loving relationships, read the book, **How to Be A 3% Man**.
____
**Step 5: The Freedom of Choice**
Finally, after you’ve learned about yourself, developed any kinks in your character, discovered your values, and experimented with different types of people, your last great benefit of being single is the freedom to choose the best partner for you.
Back in the day, and even in some societies today, marriage and relationships are forced upon people against their will. As a bachelor, you’re given the freedom to choose who you want to spend your time with.
You don’t have to worry about having to marry or become exclusive with the first great girl you meet. You’re able to decide for yourself if you’d like to continue looking for more options, of if you’re absolutely satisfied with who you’ve got. This is a beautiful thing, which is usually ruined by dishonesty.
Too many people fear losing what they have by being honest with people and telling them they don’t feel ready just yet. You’ll always lose much more through manipulation and deceitfulness than you ever could through lying.
Take your time, and pick wisely. You’ll appreciate yourself later down the line for not rushing into anything. 🙂
So, everyone can be more assertive, it’s just a behavior. You just need to learn when to speak up and when not to etc, and it could take you years.
Aside from that…
Women don’t NEED men for anything.
Women WANT men for a LOT of reasons.
Mostly, women want to feel like they connect with a guy, like there’s a spark. But, that’s extremely rare.
Most guys are not physically attractive to women, so they’re really not that horny for us, you gotta create a story they want to read to get them to fall for you.
If your testosterone is low, get hormone therapy, I did, it helped me out a lot.
Being important is all about being valuable, find something you naturally excel at, and climb that hierarchy. Approach girls in that area and you should have some success.
Being dominant is all about being confident, and knowing you can handle yourself. I suggest getting into martial arts, it’ll teach you how to be dominant.
Want the ABC123 guaranteed way to get women to like you? Patience.
That’s literally it, you just have to wait. Eventually, you will find someone who thinks you’re cool and wants to hang out with you. You might be waiting years though.
So, while it’s cliche as fuck, it’s best to focus on other things and let it just happen.
I’m not saying give up apps / going out, don’t become a hermit, I’m saying don’t go out looking for them, go out to have a good time, because single life is way less stressful than being in a relationship / marriage, enjoy it while you got it.
women have different tastes my dude! id honestly say not being naturally ‘dominant’ and ‘assertive’ is a plus (imo anyway). sure its not good to be a pushover but no one wants an asshole for a boyfriend. stop being so hard on yourself and trying to fit yourself into a box you think the majority of women would want from you, be the best version of yourself and i promise you theres nothing more attractive than a guy who has confidence how he is! rather than making a list of the things you wish you were, try listing some of your better traits and using them to your advantage. good luck my man you seem like a nice dude and am sure youll find a girl who’ll love you as you are 🙂
p.s. lots of women would prefer a shorter man than a tall one but honestly many dont give a fuck about height and just want a dude with a good heart, embrace what you got and the right lady will love you for it!
Just be yourself, man. Someone will come along and think that you and all the perceived « flaws » you have of yourself are pretty damn cool.
In general, women are attracted to the self esteem and stability of a guy who is rich or handsome, not necessarily the money and looks themselves. Think about the headspace of a person with enough money in their bank account to buy a few houses this year or the guy who has always been flirted with by pretty looking girls while seeing other guys struggle. That person is going to feel like they can do no wrong and that feeling can also come from a sense of accomplishment. This is why it’s suggested to exercise. It’s a quick, inexpensive way to accomplish something. It also does release chemicals which further encourage you as well as testosterone, since you brought it up in the post.