Dating : How do you approach someone « out of your league »?
Basically title.
I’ve been introduced to a wonderful lady through work; she has a great sense of humor and I really admire why she does what she does. Luckily our paths don’t cross so much that dating would be in potentially dangerous territory.
The main problem I see is that we are at totally different levels of objective success (She’s well established in her career, both socially and financially and I’m just getting started on mine and been out of the game for a few years working on a startup). I know it’s probably silly to worry about things like that, but I’ve always had a tendency to overthink these things. I also just feel like people would think I’m a gold-digger…
So I guess what I’m asking is, how would you react to being approached by someone that is « below » you (however you define this for yourself)? Are there any tips you have for dating outside of the normal people you associate with?
For example, anybody trying to use a cheesy pick up line on me would immediately get axed, but someone that just tries to strike up an organic conversation, no matter how small or inane would at least hold my interest for a few more minutes while we try to move it to something more mutually interesting.
I basically pretend that I am out of their league. sometimes the pretence works and sometimes it doesn’t.
It’s unlikely she is out of your league. First you were introduced to her, so the person that introduced you two clearly thinks neither of you are out of the league of the other. Furthermore, this was through work, which will tend to limit you to people of similar backgrounds, at least socioeconomically and probably socially as well.
As far as dating people who are below (or above) you, usually if they are of a different social class, the relationship is very unlikely to succeed long term , although it can be a lot of fun while it lasts. But over time the differences in background and attitudes become more obvious and become strains on the relationship, as well as differences in the circles of friends and family you each have. These will all work together to bring the relationship to an end. For such a relationship to last any time at all, you both need to be quite open minded and respectful of differences, and each not try to change the other. An appreciation of differences in background will help (don’t ignore your differences), as well as a sense of humor about them, provided you can eliminate any envy or looking down on one another or each other’s friends/family.
I wouldn’t stress about it. Just be yourself. I’ve dated many people who by and large would be out of my league. There may be things about you that are admirable to them. For example, I was late to getting my career, finances on track, but spent a lot of my 20s living and travelling abroad, something many career driven people feel they missed out on, which caused me to stand out that way. Another thing you should remember is people who are initially perceived as out of ones league, usually are more open, but have trouble dating since many people don’t approach them. Example being I have met tons of female Lawyers and Doctors on bumble. Really great people but, have a lot of trouble meeting people