Dating : How do you avoid dates who only go out with you for free food
I feel used, just got back.
We texted five hours on Sunday and she invited me out. We texted 6 hours today. She seemed like a great person. Kind, interesting, colorful life, knowledgeable, and into a lot of the same stuff I am.
I get there and she barely talks the first few minutes. Totally different from how she was when texting. Just yes/no answers to me. The whole time was a struggle to engage while she’s always texting on her phone. Barely touched her food, took it all home with her.
Eventually, I gave up and stopped trying. We leave the restaurant, she immediately says goodbye, and that’s it.
Any tips for spotting these folks in advance?
Thanks.
Coffee or park dates for first dates. If going for coffee offer to get a drink and you can still appear like a gentleman without spending too much money and you can bail out a lot easier if your date sucks.
This is why you go for drinks on the first date not a restuarant.
Also stop paying for dates. Go Dutch, her equal ass can pay her share, shes independent and dont need no man.
Lmao if I was on a date with someone and they were glued to their phone, I’d walk out. If they’re on a date and not focused on the date, I’ll go find someone else
First off. Go dutch. She can pay for what she gets. It doesn’t make you less if a man.
Second. Fuck going to dinner. Grab a coffee and go on a walk for the first date.
Don’t take women out to eat for first dates and refuse to pay for their shit.
If they do what she did, get up and leave.
Walk in the park is a great first date.
Only do coffee or single drink first dates.
Doesn’t break the bank and you get to test their character before they hit and run.
I knew several women who would brag how they were doing this to guys. A different guy every night for weeks. The only answer to the problem is stop paying for dinners. Save that gentlemenly courtesy for serious relationships.
Going to a restaurant only makes sense on the third date when it’s clear there’s a connection between you. When people are first getting to know each other, it’s an over investment, and you’re an easy prey for food leaches. Don’t do this ever again.
If she barely touched her food, she didn’t go out with you for the food. Sounds more like… you don’t look like your pics or something.
I have literally never encountered this, maybe I just don’t date enough and have been lucky idk, but most dates I’ve gone on I had to insist for the girl to let me buy her dinner, in most cases they wanted to pay themselves.
Don’t ask girl girls out for dinner on the 1st date, just get coffee or a drink at a bar
Meet up for coffee for a first date.
Also make sure your pictures are accurate on your profile. It sounds like she was expecting you to look different than you do in real life.
I mentioned my wallet tests on another post.
First date: coffee drinks desserts or whatever is inexpensive. I pay. If she reaches for her wallet, that’s a pass. Gotta pass the first wallet test to proceed to second date.
Second date: two locations. Dinner and movie. Or dinner and drinks. Anything with two parts. I pay for first half. A reasonable person would offer to pay for second half. If she offers, that’s a pass.
These are my two wallet tests.
Take her fishing next time. Tell her to meet at 6am at your favorite fishing spot. If shes late you go fishing and it’s a win win. No one pays anything and you get to see what you’re working with.
Hold off on food/restaurant dates until later.
Is this a common thing in your area? I can’t imagine giving up my evening to meet a stranger just for a free meal. You probably did not look like your photos.
Don’t suggest food as a first date. Ice cream, mini gold, walk in a public park, etc. Food is for the 4+ date on…
Don’t pay for anything if it’s a phone drone girl. If she’s a phone drone, walk out on her in the first five minutes and pay for nothing.
Wtf who texts a rando for 5-6 hours? That’s your first mistake
Dont pay for the meal on a first date. Simple as. Split the bill 50/50.
Women have no excuse not to pay their fair way anymore. It helps you dodge freeloaders and gold diggers.
Umm lol most women don’t do that. Why would a woman hang out with a guy she doesn’t really like for 3 hours to get a $13 meal paid for her? No one in their right mind would do that lol.
That said, make sure she has a job? Make sure she has a good job? I’m a physician assistant (like a family practice physician) who makes 170k a year. I’ve dated plenty of men who make like 30k a year and I’ve never cared. But why on earth would I waste 3 hours of my life with a guy I didn’t like, to get a $13 meal paid for me? Lol
Only pay for your stuff
How often does this happen to you?
I always looked at this as just the cost of doing business. You win some, you lose some. Hopefully this doesn’t happen often. (But don’t choose expensive restaurants if you’re going to stick to meal dates.)
Don’t buy them anything.
You can’t always tell who will just quit talking after the date, but at least in your case, you had some clue. Early on, you could have cut the date short and taken off. You could also tell the waiter to « split the check » knowing that she was not too enthusiastic during the date and may likely end things afterwards. And even if she doesn’t end it, maybe you will, because you would have felt like she wasn’t that interested.
> I get there and she barely talks the first few minutes. Totally different from how she was when texting.
You cancel the food order and you leave her at the table. And if she asks why, I’d be straight forward and tell her that this is a date and if this is the way you’re going to interact with me, I’m going to take my chances with another girl.
1) Dont go to eat on a first date
2) Only pay for yourself on a first date
You paid for the date. Next time split the bill.
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Umm… it really seems more like she was anxious or not physically attracted. Can’t win ’em all my dude. Was it an expensive place? Did she pick it? You’re always allowed to say no or suggest a different venue.
Personally I don’t invest unless I want to. Whoever I’m talking to has to be pretty damn special to make me pay (though I will sometimes invite a girl for drinks). I mostly just chill at houses unless there’s relationship potential. A lot of girls just wanna hook up or get attention/stuff for free – do what’s comfortable for you and you’ll regret less.