Dating : How do you « initiate » a relationship?
21m. Forgive me if this seems dumb, but I’m honestly so far behind on the dating world lol.
I’ve been hanging out with this girl for quite some time now. We get along really well, and we’re always making each other laugh. We’ve been on a couple dates, and several more occasions of just hanging out. We never run out of things to talk about, and I think things are going really well. She compliments me alot, and I, well, do my best to reciprocate.
I feel like she is waiting for me to make a move. She’s been making small, subtle moves of her own (at least a few that I have noticed lol), but, the problem is, I don’t really know how to go about it myself. I’m not particularly good at flirting, so the best option for me would likely be a direct approach. .. but even then, I don’t really know what to say. What should i do? How should I tell her that I want to make things official?
Thanks in advance for any advice 🙂
Being direct is probably the best way tbh. Doesn’t have to be a serious sit down but just be like ‘I like you a lot and I was wondering if you would want to be my girlfriend/official/exclusive?’
It’s best to clarify what both parties want went it comes to dating nowadays, so that no one feels led on or used.
Leave the labels like relationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, up to her. Treat all the times you spend together without other people around as a date in your mind and get the idea of « hanging out » out of your mind. You are the man, it is your job to lead in the kissing and showing of affection. Don’t be the timid puppy dog waiting for her to tell you want to do. However you are not BF/GF until you become exclusive and you don’t become exclusive until she brings up the « Where are we at? Where are we going? » conversation. Once you know that she wants exclusivity then all you have to do is agree to it and then not screw things up after that. Everyone has a role to play,…you play yours,…let her play hers. You lead, she sticks the labels on things.
When you are close & flirting, ask if you can kiss her.
Be a little more obvious when youre flirting. If you’re bad at it and shes really into you, she’ll think it’s cute. If youre absolutely positive that she into you, wait for a moment when shes smiling about something flirty you said, and lean in. If she leans in too, then after yall kiss, itll be easier to bring up the whole « what are we? » deal.
if you have already been going on dates, then you’re about at the time where you can hold her hand or kiss her. you can also have the talk about if you two are on the same page as far as wanting a relationship with each other.
you have detected some good vibes from her, but unfortunately as the case is with some people, if you don’t explicitly ask her to become committed and exclusive to you, she may still be seeing other people also, and not think that it should be something to tell you about it.
I remember being 21 and at that age I was terrified that anyone I liked would ever remotely find out I liked them! It definitely gets easier as you get older, nowadays I (32F) don’t care if people know. I have to say the direct approach is best, especially if she has been making little moves. If I was in her position I’d probably want to hear something like the following the next time you’re hanging out one-on-one:
– I know we’ve been hanging out a lot and I wanted to make it clear that I’m interested in you romantically/I “like you” like you
– are you chill with me continuing to pursue you in this way?
(Obv put in your own words – whatever feels natural)
Once the situation is crystal clear you’ll probably find it easier to flirt with her and build on that attraction because you’ll know it’s welcome and you’re safe, and then when it feels natural you can eventually ask her to be your girlfriend. Voila! Relationship.
First of all, why would you take dating advice from reddit? Most of the losers in here can’t even decide what gender they are, have a double digit IQ and can’t get a girl even if their life depended on it. Talk with your father or friend.
Don’t initiate it unless you want it to last. Wait for her to ask.