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Dating : How do you not know how you feel about a person?

Dating : How do you not know how you feel about a person?


I’m going to be honest I am mostly asking men. The last guy I hooked up with « doesn’t know how he feels » but needs to pause things. I am cool with ending things, I just want to squash it now. Why leave things open ended?

My last relationship ended in a similar way. All of our mutual friends said « I don’t think he knows how he feels right now. » All I was told by everyone is that it wasn’t my fault. The lack of communication in the end sucked but again if it’s gonna end I can accept that.

But WTF is that? I can’t sleep until I get an understanding of a situation or my feelings on a situation. Help me understand how this happens? Please…

What do you think?

9 Comments

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  1. Everytime I told a girl I didn’t know how I feel about her I absolutely knew what I felt and it wasn’t her sooooo take that as u will…

  2. It’s just a nice way to reject you while still leaving the door open to fuck you if he gets horny enough. Do not fall for this. Block and delete.

  3. As a 30F, I’m pretty sure guys say that when they really want to say they’re not into it anymore. Pause means pause things long enough to forget about me or just pop in randomly to see if they got it like that. That’s how I interpret it.

  4. >How do you not know how you feel about a person?

    People who say this are blatant liars, because if you don’t know how you feel about a person, you usually don’t know that you don’t know. In essence, you’d dismiss it by saying that you don’t feel about a person.

    Whoever uses this actually knows the truth and doesn’t want to say it due to anxiety, fear of confrontation(on their bullshit) or, because telling the truth might mean losing out on their current benefits(sex, for instance).

  5. Nope that was him saying I dont want to commit to you but ima just do the absolute bare minimum to sleep with you. Its nothing to understand with these type of men. It sucks to hold that L but push through. Give yourself some grace and take it day by day.

  6. I would say it’s either they aren’t interested in something long term/serious OR they’re dealing with other things in their life. For example maybe they’re having to deal with a personal or work related issue. That issue is going to be the major thought in their head 100% of the time. However I will say neither of these are really fair to you and you don’t have to deal with them. I know it sucks but you do deserve to be with someone who likes you for you and 100% wants to and IS READY to commit to being with you.

    A lot of people commenting are giving you the worst case scenario so I figured I’d give a little insight on an alternative to him keeping you around for sex or whatever. It could even mean other things but it really is just dependent on the person or their current situation. Either way just say that you don’t want to wait to know if it’s gonna go anywhere, and if he doesn’t have an answer you’re going to move on.

  7. Sometimes the boobs are there, but you can see that the rest could get worse than it already is. Or, sometimes the boobs are good, but she likes Disney princess movies or Korean zombie anime shows or some other weird shit. It’s 50% boobs, 50% everything else. That ratio is what makes it a tough call.

  8. Okay I feel like I need to defend latest hookup. We didn’t have sex. Known each other for years (all of which I was in a relationship) and is my brother in law’s best friend. He cut things off before we got more intimate and I made it very clear I was down for more. We still hang out with zero romantic touching. Me (29f) him (28m).

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