Dating : How to interpret « be more assertive »

Dating : How to interpret « be more assertive »

I went on a few dates with a woman recently. Went back to her place on the second date, and slept together. I asked for consent at various stages of messing around, and after the fact she expressed appreciation or how things went. The next time I saw her, she told me while we were cuddling on the couch that I should be more assertive. Shortly after, we were in her bed, and I tried to be more assertive? I don’t know exactly what she meant by this, especially since she told me she wasn’t interested in sex that evening. I can’t get confirmation from of what she meant by this, as that was a week ago and she seems to have ghosted me. I’ve had a few partners in the past tell me to be more assertive, as well. Does this mean just make the first move? In the early stages of dating, I’ve gotten to the point with a woman where we end up in the same bed, but if she lays down with her back to me, I always take that as a subtle way of telling me she’s not interested in anything physical at that time. This has happened with multiple women, and we might share a bed 3 or 4 times before having sex. From what I gather, this is pretty uncommon, so I have to assume the through line is me.

I am a pretty gentle, passive guy, and have always found the behavior I see and hear about from lots of other guys abhorrent. I do my best to be the exact opposite of guys who don’t take no for an answer or ignore cues. Did I swing too hard the other way?