Dating : I (23F) have been on one date with a guy (26M) and already have very strong feelings – is this too much too soon?
I’m not even sure where I’m going with this post, but I feel like I need to vent/get this off my chest.
So I (23F) went on a date with a guy (26M) Friday night – it was technically our second date, his brother is engaged to one of my best friends and I went to their house for dinner earlier in the week. On Friday, he asked if I’d meet him for drinks after dinner…normally I like having some time to prepare for a date, but in this case I thought why not and decided to take a risk. I got to the venue and saw him waiting at the bar, I was immediately met with butterflies…he looked so handsome! He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and ordered me a drink. We walked over to a quiet corner and started chatting. Within 5 minutes, I knew I wanted to kiss him…the chemistry was crazy! About an hour later, we were laughing and getting quite close – I know he is a bit shy, so I decided to break the touch barrier early on, which I think helped him feel more comfortable around me. There was a natural lull in conversation – he looked into my eyes and then leaned in for a kiss…I felt instant fireworks – something I very rarely feel!
After the initial kiss, our conversation became a bit more serious. He told me that he didn’t necessarily expect to like me (we have quite different interests), but that I was a lot more down to earth than he was expecting and after going to dinner at their house earlier in the week, he couldn’t stop thinking about me. He also said numerous times “I just can’t believe this. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and you’re letting me take you out…I feel so lucky right now…I’ve never felt like this on a first date, you make me so nervous”. I was feeling all the same things, but generally like to keep my cards quite close to my chest so I was careful with my words. He also said, “I know I shouldn’t say this because it’s very soon…but, I sort of wish that it was already a few months down the track so we could be dating, I really like you and can’t wait to see where this goes”. I have never felt this way on a first date before, I couldn’t keep my hands off him and my cheeks hurt from smiling too much…I even had sore ab muscles from laughing so hard all night.
It’s been 2 days and we’ve been talking via text a reasonable amount. I am a bit scared, as I feel like because the connection was so immediate, it may fizzle out? With all 3 of my ex boyfriends, I never had an immediate connection like this…I remember having to work on liking them over several dates and even then, never had this childlike excitement. Has anyone ever experienced this type of feeling so quickly?
I know this may sound crazy because it’s so early on, but I feel like I’ve found someone that I genuinely want to date and be with on a romantic level. I am nervous, but also very excited and cannot wait to see him again!
I mean that’s all so great, it sounds like a really positive date. But remember, you can’t love someone if you don’t know them. You can like the idea of them, and that’s what this sounds like. So far he’s ticking all the boxes and your chemistry is great. But you don’t know how he acts in different scenarios. You haven’t seen how he responds to animals, for instance. Enjoy this feeling, but be fully aware that it’s not based off a full understanding of this person. Chemistry is great, but some actors have incredible chemistry but loath each other.
I experienced the same thing with my current relationship, it’s a great feeling that’s very rare – especially when it’s mutual. As other posters said, enjoy it while it lasts, accept that it may not be permanent, but also don’t be dissuaded by the cynics who start pointing out potential flaws in him right away. Yes, no one is perfect, yes, you’ll find flaws with time, but don’t dwell on them. Fault-finding kills relationships. Sure, don’t be blind to legitimate red flags, but also don’t go looking for them just because everything seems « suspiciously perfect ». I had many friends try to play devil’s advocate to explain away much of the chemistry I was seeing and start coming up with potential red flags for my girl before ever having met her.
its infatuation. essentially a sweet fantasy. illusion. enjoy the feeling as it is the most perfect drug humanity has to offer, but do understand that it is only temporary. do not make any significant decisions guided by that feeling.
enjoy. spend time together until illusion fades and reality rises. who knows, it might not be that sweet but that said, it also CAN be.