Dating : I asked a girl out today
I asked a girl out today. It was just a random girl I saw on the street. I was bringing some groceries home and I saw her standing next to me at the crosswalk. I kept glancing at her, and when our paths diverged, I noticed she and her friend went over and sat on a bench in the park.
As I was walking home, I couldn’t stop thinking of her. She was stunning, and I wanted to ask her out. I felt terrible that I hadn’t though, thinking I had missed my chance. I usually resign myself to online dating for fear of bothering random people in person who probably are not interested or available.
I got home, put down my groceries, and decided I had to man up and do it. As I started running back to the park, I felt a sinking in my stomach, I became a little light headed and my heart was nearly racing. I was terrified of the rejection I thought may be coming, but I kept going.
As I made my way into the park, I saw her still sitting there, I was lucky they hadn’t left yet. I approached, told her that after seeing her I couldn’t get her out of my head, and that I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t come back to ask her out. She smiled giggled slightly, and looked away.
I stood there for a few more seconds, asked her if that ment no, and she shook her head confirming that she wasn’t interested. I then apologized for bothering her and left.
As I walked away, I felt better, a lot better, much better than if I never asked her out in the first place. The rejection wasn’t bad at all, only the the fear of it. I felt glad that I took the shot, and even though I missed, I would do it again.
For years I have only stuck to the dating apps, thinking that was how it was done these days (I never see other people ask random people out in public), yet never having much success. Online you don’t have the immediate response to your proposal and people rarely outright reject you. You never know who actually swipes left on you. Thus, you don’t get that fear of rejection.
Even though I technically failed again in person, I felt accomplished for really putting myself out there in the real world and trying. From now on I am going to try more in person, get out there and give it my best face to face.
That’s awesome. I think it’s good, in a way, that she said no. Because it proved just what you said
> The rejection wasn’t bad at all, only the the fear of it.
Congrats on taking the personal touch. My feedback would be that you kind of laid a lot on the line with her. You might have felt you couldn’t get her out of my head, and that you couldn’t live with yourself you didn’t come back to see her. But that’s a lot of personal information to lay on a stranger. There are more subtle ways to express interest and if she plays along you can share your OMG moment as thing evolve. Maybe share this after a few dates. My 2 cents.
Whenever I get rejected I just imagine myself on tinder getting left swiped, I am technically getting rejected all the time and this thought lessens the blow a lot lol
Way to go Bro! Men that ask in person are real and that alone scares people. I think trick is to not come off as creepy begin with small talk then ask out
It gives me hope that guys still ask girls out in person! Well done 🙂
Great job man! Keep it up and eventually it will become easier. For every no you get closer to a yes.
I think it’s great that you went for it, buttttt may I suggest that you came on a bit strong? My husband approached me out of the blue. I was chatting with friends at a festival and he came up, introduced himself and asked if he could buy me a beer. Now, if he’d come up and gone on about how he couldn’t get me out of his head or something like that, it would’ve probably been too intense and I believe I would’ve said no. It’s important to come off as confident (just a quick introduction and invite to grab a coffee or drink is enough), but not intense or desperate. It can really make or break that first impression.
Online dating blows, for a LOT of reasons. Organic and natural is the way to go.
Awwwwe so cute
Asking girls out becomes easier the more you do it but also, the more you know what you’re doing. If you know a good ice breaker, a little body language, a few rules of thumb, know how to come off not too strong or weak. You can get increase your chances by a lot.
Good stuff, dude! If you can do it, maybe I can as well. Thanks for being an inspiration!
Amazing, you had the courage to do a simple thing, but that scares the most of people, only applause for you
Good job getting yourself out there and all but this is not a good approach. It’s bound to result in failure and it can be on the creepy side. Peole might find it flattering, but also a little strange. Better to try and strike up a conversation, pass a few compliments and see where it goes. If she’s into it, maybe ask her out, ask her for her number, etc.
I have a friend who did this a lot, asking random girls out on the street. He called it « the shotgun approach ». He said out of dozens of tries, he got one number, and she didn’t message back. My group of friends all agreed it was desperate.
If your only goal is to get over the fear of rejection, this will work, but it’s not good for much more than that.
Yooo man! Props for doing it, great to know you are feeling good, and no doubt you deserve to feel good.
Kudos to you man for doing it in real life. Its a numbers game
Mate, I could totally relate to you and the emotions… Lately, I thought I was open minded but have been closing to engage women in fear of rejections and also like you said, not willing to be a creep and bother people in their routine. It’s so easy to find excuses but regardless of that, I truly believe we should live life as if there’s no tomorrow and get hold of every opportunities that is being given to us. Act on it for we don’t know what can result from it. I love your story, salute your actions and highlight your positivity and perception of seeing this experience.
Go get them, keep rolling and wish you all the best!
Cheers
Good for you for overcoming your fear! I do admire someone who is able to do what you did. That said, if I was that woman, I would be flattered yet thinking that you might only be interested in one thing. After all, you didn’t know anything about me at all. Thus, you were only judging me on my looks. Perhaps she thought the same thing.
Plus even if she was interested, it may of been hard for her to say yes and save face with her friend. Most likely, her friends would of thought she was crazy if she she had said yes to a total stranger coming up to her and asking her out based on her looks only.
Btw, I dont know how old you are but imho, unless you’re a teenager, it’s a little insulting to call a WOMAN a girl. That is until you’re senior citizen age. Then, calling a woman a girl is sortbof a compliment. Lol
Remember when approaching women like that it is usually all about looks and charisma. The first thing you have to do is a self assessment and determine if the girls you are asking out are in your ballpark lookswise. If you are a 6 it is nearly certain that you will not be able to get a 9…especially since she has many other options.
Obviously like out on a date? Hey man rejection makes you stronger
Don’t ever tell a girl you never met you can’t get her out of your mind.
Good job for doing it.
I’m glad you did it but I don’t think the bold cold approach on a stranger is ever effective. Even if she thinks you’re cute, she doesn’t even know you and won’t feel safe going out with a stranger.
Maybe start slower next time and just tell her she is stunning and you’d like to get to know her- then offer her your number. Do not ask for hers
I admire you! Those are real guts.
Go to you tube and watch some video type in evolution daily watch his videos they will change your game.
Good for you!!! It’s awesome that you put yourself out there!
Good for you I date you.
Check out /r/seduction
You shouldn’t have said you couldn’t get her out of your head and you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t ask her out. That was desperate and lame, makes you look like you have never been laid.
Take a look at James Marshall’s ‘Wish I knew then what I know now’ vid on this topic.
Very informative
[https://youtu.be/6jNxk1u2uig](https://youtu.be/6jNxk1u2uig)
This is a trend in this sub that annoys me. Why is it considered a huge accomplishment that he ran back to a park to ask this woman out? I understand the need to work past the fear of rejection but why at the cost of making strangers uncomfortable? I’d be so weirded out if some dude interrupted me and a friend to tell me he came back just to ask me out. Especially after no previous contact with this person.
To be clear, I think it’s fine ask random women out in the correct context. Like after making small talk in the grocery store line, or starting up a conversation at a coffee shop.
See, in both those scenarios you form a connection before asking for a number. I can’t imagine anyone saying yes to a complete stranger asking them out with no previous contact. These dudes are setting themselves up for failure:
Your brave wish I was like you
Congrats dude!! Keep trying. Don’t ever give up.
You will find that special lady. There’s millions of women out there for all of us. They want us just as much. And they Love Sex as much as we do too. Lol.
You have more Guts than me. Good job for making the WORLD a better place 🙂
This is great. Same with me and this cashier that i saw at a fast food place today at lunch, but I don’t really know how to approach it. I know a lot of people get uncomfortable if asked out while they’re working, so I have no idea how I should handle this. Please help
There’s this really interesting youtube video, [LINK](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vZXgApsPCQ&t=293s) « what I learned from 100 days of rejection » . I myself need to practice this since I tend to let rejection get to me specially if its someone or something I really want. But in retrospect , the rejections that I did experience did hurt and sting specially since they were important to me but after some introspection it all worked out the way it was supposed to and that fear of rejection was bigger than the actual rejection.
We’ve never seen someone successful or genuinely happy with their work or business or life as someone so insecure and afraid of trying the tycoons of our time usually have usually experienced numerous rejections. This seems to be a common trend we are only realizing now due to the advent of information from the internet.
This is so beautiful to me! You ran all the way back! You didn’t sleep on it! You didn’t let it slip away! One day you’re gonna run back for the right girl and she’s gonna say yes. And she’s gonna be so happy you did