Dating : I don’t know how to date and online dating isn’t working.
I’m a 20-year-old male (ignore the username) and I have absolutely no idea how to date and I can’t get any dates.
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I’ve got Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Hinge, and Bumble but I only get matches on Tinder. Of the 13 matches, I got on Tinder 4 responded. The rest either unmatched instantly, never replied or unmatched at a later time. Of the 4 that responded 1 of them was actually trying to hold a conversation. She would answer my questions but not ask me any questions. I asked her if there was something I could improve on in my messages after 3 days of no response and she said she was just on Tinder for the meme and wasn’t planning on meeting up with anybody.
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The 2nd responded 3 times and didn’t respond until I messaged her 3 days later asking if there was anything I did wrong or could improve on and she said she didn’t have any time to date and wasn’t on Tinder that often. The 3rd girl only sent 1-word replies so I unmatched because she clearly doesn’t care.
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The 4th girl replied on Snapchat (I only messaged her there because I thought she was super cute.) but only answered in 2 words or less. I messaged her after 2 days to ask if there was anything I could improve on in the short-ish conversation we had and she said I did nothing wrong and she doesn’t really check snapchat much but still wanted to continue talking with me. I’ve sent her another message asking if she likes coffee and I was planning to ask her if she wanted to go get some with me but she hasn’t responded.
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I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, all 3 of the girls I asked feedback from all said I did nothing wrong and they just didn’t have time or don’t check Tinder/Snapchat much. What am I supposed to do? I already don’t get many matches and not many of the matches I do get respond. Like, I’m interested in dating which is why I’m asking questions about them but nobody ever reciprocates. I’ve never been asked a single question about me.
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I don’t know how to date IRL either. I’m not currently attending college and I don’t plan on ever attending again and I work about 80 hours a week. I’m taking every Wednesday off so that I can work on dating and a few other things like my Motorcycle and Therapy and losing some more weight (I’ve already lost like 70-ish lbs). I know I work a lot but I still try to reply within 5-10 minutes to any messages I get.
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I know I’m only 20 and I’ve never had a relationship but is all dating like this? Is this what I have to work through? If that’s the case, then what’s the point of even trying?
Dating online sucks. Period.
I’ve tried multiple apps and get the same results you’re talking about.
Make in person connections more.
The flakiest women I’ve met, have been through dating apps.
Also, it’s not you, it’s everyone else. While you messaged her on Tinder, likely 10-15 other guys did as well.
She’s definitely on Snapchat and Tinder, but just avoiding you.
Move on from online dating.
Online dating only works if you are a women or very attractive man
Most of the women I’ve met have been so flakey. There have been a few times where we set up a date then she makes up an excuse on the day of why she can’t. It honestly gets tiring. Although, women always get plenty of validation through online dating since they have a constant stream of men through the apps.
1) Get better profile pictures. Your pictures are probably all boring selfies.
2) get lots of advice about your biographical blurb. It’s probably boring or not flattering.
3) Stop trying to « develop a relationship » over messaging or text in any way. That’s what in person dates are for.
Ask to meet in person as soon as you reasonably can, within less than a dozen messages.
Rule: if someone is actually interested, meeting you in person won’t be a big obstacle for them.