Dating : I don’t know whether what I did is right or wrong

Dating : I don’t know whether what I did is right or wrong

Hey guys,

At the beginning I would like to apologize you for all mistakes – I’m not a native speaker.

So the sad story began more than a year ago when I (male, 23 – now 25) started work at the new place. I became part of a team, which was led by one woman (29, now 30). From the beginning atmosphere in the team was really great and over time I, my TL and other guys became friends. I felt that I have a great relation with her, but I was always thinking that we are only friends. I was thinking about her in couple and sexual context, but I was always sure that she is too old for me, that she is looking for something else and she cannot be interested in me.

Straight to the point now: One month ago our small group went outside and we were drinking and dancing in a club. I was dancing with her and all of sudden we started kissing and hugging. It was totally unexpected and surprise for both of us, but we set up the new date a few days later and spend a nice time. Unfortunately, later she went on holiday and we did not have a contact for almost two weeks. I thought it was a one-time situation, but after comeback from holiday (one week ago), we arranged a new date and spend again great time, dancing, kissing, etc. She also told me that she thought that it is summer love etc, but she is really happy that it turned out the way it is. We were texting every day, everything was fine between us. On Thursday we went on the next day and we started talking about our expectation from that relationship. She told me that she really likes me, but that I should take it into consideration that she is my TL, older and that she would like to have children in the near future. Near future means for her maximum 2 years. And she told me that if I don’t want to do that it is ok for her, but we should forget about each other. I asked her to come back to the topic later because I would like to think about that. I was thinking about that later, but to be honest I do not have any thoughts about that. Of course, in the future I would like to start a family, but not yet. I am not ready to say « yes, I would like to have children with you » right now. She scared me a little bit with that confession.

Next day we set up a meeting for the evening with friends and went to the club, Before that she was talking to his friend from the university which is in a quite similar situation – he is in a quite long relationship with a woman (3 years older than he), who would like to start family. And she started explaining to him that he is hurting her because he doesn’t want to propose to her and she started explaining to him that women 30/35+ are expecting something more serious. And this was because breaking point for me and a few hours later we started talking about our expectations and in total I broke up with her.

And I feel like rubbish now, because I feel that I hurt her. We were planning to go for some trips, what to do in the following days, I had complimented her a lot even the same day… but her conversation with her friend made everything different. I felt that I am not ready for that and I would hurt her if I would say nothing or say « yes, I want to start a family with you soon ». I feel really awful now because I made her crying and I feel that I disappointed her, but on the other side, I was not ready for a deeper relationship. The most awful thing is that I really like her and if she would be younger/I would be older, I go for it for sure.

Did I do right? Did she tell me her expectations a little bit to early?

TL;DR: I was in short relationship with my older boss and we broke up because she would like to start a family soon and I am not ready for it. And I have doubts about whether I did right or wrong.