Dating : I don’t understand the whole « abundance » thing
« There are plenty of fish in the sea »
Try telling that to someone who’s never met up with anyone from online dating (me) and goes out and socializes but still doesn’t find many single and attractive people available to date.
Anyone here go years between relationships like myself? I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, but I’m not a prolific dater and I don’t think I ever could be. The idea of dating multiple people is completely foreign and asinine to me. On top of it, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a relationship with just anyone. I need that attraction; I don’t believe you can build further attraction for someone you aren’t at least a little bit attracted to from the start.
I guess as a guy apparently it’s even less appealing if people know you aren’t a man with options. Like thanks a lot, just make it even worse. Lol
[https://meme.xyz/uploads/posts/t/l-10411-there-are-plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea.jpg](https://meme.xyz/uploads/posts/t/l-10411-there-are-plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea.jpg)
What i did was hit the club with my friends…..
maybe 8 times in a given month….. Thursday Friday Saturday = lots of opportunities
in the club I have 1 drink maybe 100…
I use drinks to remove my inhibitions to talk. and it helps keep my spirits up if I get rejected…..
approaching women in the club:
if it’s a bigger club, I make more cold approaches. with less inhibition (I’ll have a quick convo and try to get the number) Women like to watch men like a hawk (especially if they like you) so with a bigger crowds I have a larger margin for error…… if women see u walk up to other women and keep getting rejected. they’ll figure it’s something off with you…..
conversely, if women see you having a good time with other women, that piques their curiosity (and you know what they say about the cat)…. and make themselves available for approach.
The only thing that having options does it keeps your from going nuts or cuckoo for a woman especially if she is ignoring on Tuesday.
so if I have 3 women available and interested… I’ll call up girl #1 she sends me to voicemail… « Hey it’s Frank. just saying what’s up, give me a shout when u can »…. and I’ll leave it alone until she reaches back (could be minutes or days) . then I’ll call girl #2 and well have a convo. if girl #1 calls back I’m not blowing off girl #2. etc…. hell I might even call girl #3 just to say hello……
if you don’t have options. all your energy can only go to girl #1.. so if she misses a call, it’s either wait in pain or get desperate and text and call again….. having options saves your life… emotionally
the other reason you want friends is because girls will do shit you need your buddies there to help laugh off the initial pain….
one time me and this girl met at school were good friends and i saw her at a party…. we had a 20 minute convo and I was getting the vibe that we were gonna hit it off that night… she told me to call her around 3:00 am. I did. No answer. As Iakd in bed yelling and smh.. my roommate walked last and was like
« Ahh, she teased u a good one »
« yea man, I thought we was gonna meet tonight this time »
« bruh, that’s what she does…. lol.. she gonna talk a good game until it’s go time She the WB frog »
I laughed about it cause he was right.
eventually I said « a girl like her, I just gotta catch her at the right time, and when she ready ima be ready »
« exactttly…. don’t put no pressure on the shit, just keep it cool when u see her, she gonna know »
I would usually go at least a few months-to a year between relationships, yeah. I haven’t had many relationships though. It’s not because I’m not able to meet up with anyone (to be honest, it’s the opposite problem for me… too much attention on OLD and I’d get overwhelmed with dating a lot, I’d often attract too many shitty men who are purely into looks). If it makes you feel better, I think the issue with men is that most men aren’t meeting up with tons of girls. That is just a male thing. It doesn’t mean you’re undesirable. It’s the difference of attention men and women get online.
What you can do is to work on yourself and focus on other means to meeting people. Also, it’s good to know that looks aren’t everything, particularly as you get older and the people you date are older. Of course, the younger you go, the more looks-obsessed people are… so just avoid those types of people.
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Women naturally want a man with options, it means he won’t be completely reliant on her/needy
Get out and start meeting people
Hit the gym
Get new well fitted clothes
Professional success
Abundance takes time to build but requires you investing in yourself. A man with prospects is an attractive man. Getting women is a numbers game