Dating : I (F19) went on tinder date and guy (M22) tried to manipulate me into sleeping with him despite making it clear (didn’t sleep tho)
Hey guys.
So there’s this club I am part of at University. There are groups we have for different slots (for example, there are 80 people part of the club but they all come for sessions in different timings and they have to stick to that timing, I go from 4-5 and he goes for 6-7 but we were part of the same club having never met). I knew who he was and he had once gone on a date with one of my friends for the club formal but they aren’t friends anymore.
I matched with him on tinder and kind of recognized a few photos were taking in the club and was interested in getting to know more people. So he added me on instagram and we planned on going on a date. He invited me to a bar and I arrived on time.
Now the thing is I don’t use tinder for hooking up, a lot of people in my city are either on tinder for dating or hooking up and I fall under the previous category. I felt once I meet him and see how it goes I could decide what I wanted to do even though hooking up was never part of the plan. We met at the bar, I waited for 15 minutes for him to come because I was early but I couldn’t sit there and do nothing so I got a light drink. He walked in and he’s in last year of University and we talked and connected quite well. He got a drink and then got kinda tipsy so he asked me to catch up by getting a shot with him that he volunteered to pay for.
We got a shot together and in the end he asked for the bill to pay and he paid for everything and then cheekily asked me « you got yourself a whiskey? » and I said yeah, because I did mention it before he got me a shot that while I was waiting I did get a drink.
We kissed a while after and after this he asked if I wanted to come over. I knew where this was going and I wanted to make this clear that I wasn’t looking for a hookup. I said, I’m on tinder for dating because I like going on dates and sex with strangers isn’t an idea I’m comfortable with. To me I can only feel turned on if I connect with that person. He said that he’s looking for something casual and somehow went to explain how what he’s looking for is the same thing as me? He said « obviously we need to get to know each other and having sex is part of that » which I didn’t agree with so I made it very clear. He was like « ok ok then, wanna come over to my place still? We don’t have to do that » so I was like fine, I thought he understood. The thing is this isn’t even a random stranger I went over to the house of but someone I share a lot of mutual friends with.
He put on Netflix and we were both kinda tipsy but not too bad. It was 11 and we were just awkwardly staring at his TV so I said « I should get going because the subway closes soon » so he said, « let’s not waste too much time then » and climbed on top of me and started kissing my neck. At this point I was confused as hell and also kinda mad that I made this clear so many times and for some reason he’s still trying to convince me to do something I said I don’t want to do. So I said, « Waste time on what? »
and he stopped and I could tell he was embarrassed so he said « just making out… » well kissing my neck was not the way to go to start just making out. I knew I didn’t wanna end on a bad note so I just said, hey, I had a good time but I don’t want to be wasting your time and I don’t want you to waste mine because we’re looking for different things. So it was nice to meet you.
Then he was like « I don’t think you like me or would wanna see me again, that’s all »
So I said, again, yeah because I’m not looking for sex and you said you are. He then said « why did you kiss me? » so I said people do kiss on the first date you know, it doesn’t mean I wanna have sex.
​
So he was like okay just stay for 15!! We could cuddle.
Cuddling honestly is fine so I was like okay, but then he’s like « wanna go to my bed? »
GEEZ FUCK. I’m like, no, I fucking made this clear so many times but I said this in a nice tone and proceeded to make an excuse to leave because I knew he was tipsy or make just a guy who doesn’t take no for an answer. He’s in fucking 4th year tho? Why are you acting like a child?
He started acting disappointed that I didn’t wanna see him again to which I said it’s not like that, so he offered to go on another date and I agreed. By this point I was only trying to leave so I agreed on it. He then asked for a good bye kiss and I did give one and it turned into a makeout and he then proceeded to take off my shirt and this point I had had it from him and went straight out the door. Without any word.
​
I left right then and there and I was annoyed. You could tell he was embarrassed because I refused to sleep with him.
2 days before our supposed next date, I found out he unfollowed me on instagram.
SORRY ENGLISH IS NOT GREAT.
Wow, how pathetic. I’m glad you stood your ground and got out of the situation relatively unscathed. Cut off all contact with him and if any of your friends end up having dates with him in the future, give them a heads up so they at least know what to expect
He sounds like a total ass. Dodged a bullet there.