Dating : I (F20) have limited time left to be working with this guy (M22) I like and I’ve never dated anyone without using a dating app. I really don’t want to lose my chance with him!
I have limited time left working with this guy and I don’t know if there’s enough time for me to build up to things before hanging out outside of work.
I work as a camp counselor and I like the guy who is subbing in as my co-counselor. We talk sometimes and he’s really nice and we have common interests but he’s just generally so sweet, and I’m really attracted to him.
My problem is that I’ve always had issues hanging out with people outside of work or school, even just as friends; I get nervous about the change in dynamic between a group setting and being one-on-one. (Probably relevant– I have anxiety adhd and depression). I’m getting anxious bc I don’t know how long he’s gonna be subbing and even if he’s here for the rest of the time we’re working, it’s not that long and I’m already starting to like him a lot. I’m definitely worried that I’m starting to like him way too much way too fast 🙁 (which is a problem in and of itself but that’s another issue).
So, basically I need help figuring out how to gauge his interest, and initiate something to hang out with him outside of work. I really like him, please give me some good advice.
TL;DR: How do I keep myself from liking my co-worker too much too fast, gauge his interest, and get over my anxiety about hanging out one-on-one?
Say something
As for anxiety I recommend imagining the worst possible scenario so that anything that happens is a better result as you already know the worst. Then after that share contact information and ask him out for coffee or mini golf ect.
For example imagine you ask him out and he says that he finds you disgusting and never wants to hear or see you again, then proceeds to throw his drink at you and proceeds to yell about how you asked him out in a mocking tone.
What ever his actual response is it is going to be better than the one I just imagined.
Ask him out. But don’t do it while working just in case things go bad then it is awkward.
If you have exchanged numbers you can do it right after he stops working.
In the meantime show the best of you, he will remember that and it can help you when you ask him out.
All the best
Tell him you’re nervous but you think he’s cool and you’d like to hang out after camp is over. It doesn’t need to be a big Conversation, and he’ll probably be happy to see you again!
This is really hard because it’s at work. And I find this whole thing very cute btw. I recommend just talking and getting to know this person. Ask things like oh I bet your girlfriend really likes that or you can be direct and just ask if they are seeing someone. Usually you hinting or asking clues them in that you are interested in some way (unless they are a block head and a lot of us men are lol). But keep in mind that if this is the work place you could be making someone very uncomfortable.
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But I don’t know because one thing that is super annoying to me is the fact that I always feel people only « try to get to know you » when they want something. This coming from someone who used to get hit on a lot when I was younger. I guess it’s a good thing too, it’s just how the person takes it or view the action of being hit on. Good luck. One thing you have in your favor if it doesn’t work out or becomes weird and uncomfortable you wont be there long anyway. Maybe me overthinking this but are you always at places temp? And at different places do you usually hit on coworkers? (you may become known for this without realizing it)
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I’m only trying to help. I realize it may seem like I’m only saying mean things >_< . I think I just have a twisted view of things.