Dating : I feel like I’ve got no chance here. Forever alone?
I’m 19[M] heading 20 in November and I have never had a girlfriend. I’ve never really been interested in finding one up until now…but the problem is I don’t haven’t met anyone I like yet…and what’s more worrying is that would anyone wanna date me in the first god damn place? I feel like I have no desirable traits a man should have that women want.
Here’s a list of my bad traits :
1. I am short. 5’5.
2. I’m an indian (bobs vagana,criminal,rapist)-stereotype
3. Dark skin? (it repels people who look at skin colour at least right? lol)
4. I’m skinny….a small body structure. I weigh fucking 45 kg ! Is something wrong with me? My mom said I was born a healthy baby..was she lying?
5. I have no confidence nor self-esteem.
And here’s a list of traits (I THINK I HAVE) that are good :
1. I’m funny (i think?, I’ve made funny jokes in the past where people laughed…and idek if its the pitty laugh but it happens quite often so maybe eh?)
2. I’m a lil above average looking? I fucking think? Like on a scale 0-10, I’m at 6? One of my friends once said that everyone in our group circle are goodlooking mofos..idk if he said that for the sake of brotherhood or what..but if anything I feel like the least goodlooking guy in the group
3. I’m a very patient guy
4. I’m a good listener
5. I like helping people in need…
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Sooner or later I might meet someone I like…but what are the chances she will like me back? Like lets be honest…the (dont judge a book by its cover) is bs irl..no matter what anyone says. People always go for the looks.. Its funny how the world really works and what people really believe in. The lies of people and social justice warriors who claim to believe in equality attitude over looks but do nothing to live their lives according to the principles they espouse.
Move to a more diverse city.
Try to get an arranged marriage.
Also you are 19. You are still at the starting gate of the whole dating thing and you need to do a lot of self reflection and accepting that you are being harsh on yourself. 20’s is prime time for dating, my man. Don’t count yourself off when you haven’t started.
Yeah your kinda fucked
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To further elaborate, I’m a 23F who has brown skin living in a predominantly white area in the US.. I’m bigger than most girls my age and my body isn’t anywhere near the societal standard of beautiful.. I have a hard time finding clothes that fit me well and I’m not even that big, I’m pretty sure I weigh around 200lbs and I don’t even really look it.. but I have a really hard time finding people and I don’t understand why. I’ve talked to so many of my friends about it because I see girls who are bigger than me EASILY, dating guys who are like 7/10 and some are even really hot. And I just don’t get it. I know I’m not like super model pretty, but I know I’m not ugly. If I were to rate myself I would say maybe 6/10 like you just said.. my curly hair contributes to that considerably but I do have pretty eyes. I know that most of my insecurities would go away if I lost weight but that’s been a struggle my entire life and it will not happen over night.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I feel you 100% and know that this is difficult. When I was in high school and college guys in my school, and hell even now, look past me like I’m not even a person.. it’s very dehumanizing especially when you see other people around you flirting with each other and hooking up left and right.
I don’t really have any advice other than to try to change what you can about yourself and learn to love what you can’t so you can feel more confident. I think confidence attracts people so if you feel confident more people will start to notice and want to talk to you.
Also I just wanted to mention that I dated a short fat Indian guy in college. If I were to rate him I’d say he was an easy 4/10 looks wise. But It was the best relationship I’ve ever had because I wasn’t worried about his looks attracting other girls that he could cheat on me with and he treated me well (until he didn’t, which is a completely different story).. we loved each other, had fun, and made each other happy and I don’t regret dating an uglier guy because at the end of the day he was a great person lmao.. there are people in this world who are willing to go past looks though not many of them are around here ! Good luck!