Dating : I feel like my pictures are too well, I am tripping.
I have a date today with a girl who is more attractive than me. She seems really interested, but in the past women came to tinder dates and looked really « disappointed » with my looks. I am not really catfishing, just putting my best pictures online. These dates were a bit traumatic and I dont really wanna go to the date today.
You need a mix of “I clean up good” photos and “this is me chilling in my comfy clothes” photos.
>women came to tinder dates and looked really « disappointed » with my look
If this is the case maybe you should reconsider your profile and the way you present yourself? The only reason why I say this is because if the women really were disappointed, then that means there’s a big difference between your profile and the reality.
Maybe show your profile to a friend and ask for their honest opinion.
Do you think that your pics make you look significantly better than how you look in person?
Everyone’s trying to put their best pictures out there. As long as there not incredibly photoshopped you should be good. You could post one good pic and a current pic in here if you want confirmation.
Just put your normal photos in there.
I’d say before planning a date maybe try face timing/video chatting with them. Then you know if they’re cat fishing, they get to see what you look like, and if chemistry isn’t there it could save you from going on a bad date
I would make sure your pictures are good enough to get attention while still being accurate representations of how you look. Firstly due to your own insecurities, but also if it’s noticeable there disappointed then you are to some extent catfishing and they’ll never forget their first impression of disappointment. I’ve met up with guys who looked gorgeous and in person they just weren’t as attractive, and it’s never gone well, even if I’d have liked if I’d never seen the better representation. This is also why you should never have pictures of you with friends on tinder, the amount of times I want to match with the friend so bypass the person.
Once I actually matched with a guy I used to live in the same hostel as. I didn’t even recognise him, he looked amazing. On having his Facebook I could see why I’d not been interested before, he was cute but his tinder pictures represented a personality he didn’t have. I know if I’d met up with him then I’d have felt led on.
I went through some weight changes once quite quickly, nothing crazy, but enough that I moved from being slim/toned model curvy to curvy in an average/normal way. At the time I didn’t have many new pics of myself and when I met men I felt like my dates were less successful than when I changed my pics to accurate representations. Funny though, the accurate representations I still got as many matches and compliments as before!
Think of it this way: an error some men make is telling a girl how big they are and upsizing. Now I don’t really care about dick size, but if you tell me in advance I’m getting an 8 inch cock and then it’s actually 6 inches I’m going to miss the extra few inches. I have encountered enough dicks and dildos to know exactly what each size looks and feels like. Same as height. If you add some inches, I will miss them. While if you’d never told me it never would have occurred to me.
People don’t like being misled. If you’re a bit overweight for example, you can put a flattering image up, but it should be accurate.
Well, that’s on you. You are setting yourself up for failure. I went on a date with someone that misled me into thinking she was a normal weight, but was 50lbs overweight. I knew the second I saw her that I wasn’t interested. I hung out with her for the date and left right after.
I look better than in my pictures. I don’t like taking pics, so many are old and from when I was less fit. It makes me happy to see my date for the first time and see her excitement.
I sometimes feel this way. I believe I’m pretty never been told otherwise, however I feel like it comes through on film not as much in person. I do agree with the person above. Try throwing in a few pics you feel aren’t as cute. But also go in there confident it’s tinder take nothing to swipe. And you my dear have been on several dates so you got this… I find that even if I’m not as attracted if he’s confident with himself it doesn’t matter☺ I hope this helps
I mix good and bad photos
You are also a girl or no?
Nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward as it were.
I think on any media for that part we all just as in when you meet someone put up our best behavior or in your case pics.
Nothing wrong with that at all but maybe try to be a little more « rounded » about yourself and how you present yourself. Not sure what your pics look like but ex. If you wear a hat of some kind normally make sure to show that side as well. I feel that lots of times the reason for disappointment is because so many have expectations to start with instead of formulating thoughts after the fact.
Don’t be discouraged just re-look at how you can maybe do something a little different if you feel so inclined…
Much luck to you.
Use the best pictures that are accurate to how you currently look. Don’t use that one photo from 2 years ago when you were in shape, or that one photo you touched up with photoshop, or the photo you paid a professional photographer to take, or whatever.
If you’re photos are from a long time ago and you look fit and wearing nice clothes, don’t show up out of shape with unkempt hair and a dirty shirt.
Ah, yeah. I feel ya there. what has helped me, is work on the things that need improvement, what exactly is it that is « disappointing », and what can you do to improve that.
I tell em as a rule I dont sleep with women on the first date if they are dumb enough to belive that they will think your a great guy and try and ride you. If they think its bs they will try and test you and again ride you. If they think your bs and wanna call your bluff. Then end the date earlier then normal before 8-9pm say you got something not at all important you wanted to try and finish. Dont text or call and either after midnight or next day she will message what are you doing did you finish .. then wanna come over
Brother, you have to believe in yourself. Your own handsome only you know
Nothing much to do about the date you already attendend, but, there is a simple solution: Before a irl date, do a Video Call. That way the other person can show their « vibes » about how you look without de effort of came out of their houses, and, if it progress, you will no more be frustrated.
I personally don’t rely on pics, yes I have preferences but I dont check all facial feature and bio does matter to me. If ladies gets disappointed by your looks irl and didnt bother to try and connect with you, then you dodged a bullet. No one wants to date a person only into looks.
You can send me a dm so I can help out on your profile. Goodluck OP.
Well, handle that with a balanced profile as one day you gonna meet them physically. For today, let’s just be yourself it’ll go well. If she really into you things will get along afterall that’s you only.
I think it’s good to have your best face online but also, I think it should be a balance of « if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best » kind of photos.