Dating : I have never really lived my life and I need help
In as few words as possible: I had a really troubled childhood/ early teens. Ended up super depressed and ended up just drifting along with what seemed reasonable. Eventually up failing at college (twice), getting to 140kg levels of fat, and every effort I made to getting help people just told me to « man up ».
After two suicide attempts I finally got some help, (from both family and professionals) and after 3 years of arduous efforts I managed to more or less turn my life around: I sleep 8 hours every night instead of 8 hours a week, I got a viable job for 1,5 years+, slimmed down to 110kg, and I am no longer in debt. I suppose my depression is more or less gone now too, I just get anxious or nervous at times.
I work in a fairly social setting and my co-workers like me well enough. Like me to the point that the girls around my age I have as co-workers aren’t afraid of asking for a taste of what I brought in as lunch, and tasting from my plate. I’ve even gone out drinking twice now with them. (all of the girls are either married or dating.)
Now, the thing is I never ever dated a girl, and I just days ago turned 30. I lost more than 10 years of my life and I have no clue on how to approach girls. Staring at that blank tinder profile causes me major anxiety, and the thought of even posting a picture of my face causes just slightly less anxiety. I genuinely feel like I will die if I am rejected.
So what do I do?
I’ve been through some stuff too and I felt like I had missed a lot too but life is huge and sooner or later doesn’t really matter much. Although I’m a bit younger than you, I’ve only now gotten into a relationship and I’m still wondering how to do this and how to do anything haha doesn’t help that I’m an introvert. The only advice I have for you is what helped me: say yes more. If something makes you feel nervous or anxious, do it. There are a lot more pros to it than cons and if it wasn’t for that shift in my brain I wouldn’t be where I am now.