Dating : I keep doubting that my girlfriend actually likes me
Howdy guys,
So I started dating this girl about 3 months ago and it’s been pretty good so far. We started talking about 5 and a half months ago and it seems relatively solid. I’m an 18 year old guy and she’s 16. We get along pretty well but we haven’t really had a chance to see each other often because of school and stuff on the weekends but our last day is Tuesday so hopefully that pans out okay.
We have done stuff together a few times, went on a few dates technically I guess and they’ve been good. We haven’t gotten really physically/intimate yet, I’ve put my arm around her a few times and I guess we cuddled technically last weekends but that’s it. Neither of us are really experienced at all it looks like which isn’t helping. We’re both kinda awkward which makes things go slower too but I don’t really mind at all. We went to prom together, slow danced and everything so it seems like everything is okay.
*Important*
I’m just afraid that she’s losing interest and not saying anything about it. My last relationship involved a girl that was extremely narcissistic and has shattered what little self esteem and confidence I was able to build up to that point. Everything seemed fine, yet one day she called quits and refused to have any contact with me which broke me.
She purposely went out of her way to hurt me with the breakup that I didn’t deserve at all. She said how “she could do so much better” than being stuck with me and how I wasn’t “big enough to pick her up”, (keep in mind this girl is fucking 5 10”. So now I’m still somewhat hurt and I’m worried ab it ever happening again. The girl I’m seeing now doesn’t seem like she’s that way but I can’t stop myself from doubting it and it’s driving me nuts.
Tl;dr -I feel like a bad relationship is going to happen all over again even though I’m 90% sure everything is fine. Self doubt and a lack in confidence from being hurt in a last relationship is scaring me with it possibly repeating. It just feels too good to be true and I don’t know why. I’m probably overthinking as I usually do but I can’t get closure.
Thanks 🙂
Shut it down, wait two years
I was in the same boat.
Most important thing **STOP THINKING THIS.**
**Self-Doubt / Insecurities / Overthinking / Etc.**
All these negatives will surely set yourself up to a disaster. Stop immediately.
I was having the same feelings of doubts and insecurities. You start to pick at yourself and bully yourself that you are not worth it because the girl is amazing right? and you are thinking « Dam I feel the spark is dying. I need to do something » but really you did it since you both were together. It’s a honeymoon phase thing.
My guy you have been emitting that spark since the beginning but you are putting out the fire yourself.
An amazing girl chooses YOU the amazing guy. Remember that she is with you for a reason.
You need to be yourself but you must FULLY embrace yourself around her.
You just have to remember that you attracted her somehow and you need to be consistent with behavior.
If you were yourself around her, be yourself still but just yank more out of you and go out there to explore together.
Maturity is a factor sure. Maybe she isn’t appreciating enough or anything but that is because you are not communicating effectively but that’s for another post.
Just remember to also give yourself some space and her some space once in a while. Focus on what you like and she can focus on hers then you can come back days later and talk about that subject.
Cheers mate,
Good Luck!
School is not a real reason not to see eachother. The prom thing was promising but give it two weeks and if nothing happens ditch her and get a new girlfriend. You need to start valuing yourself and valuing your time.
Work on yourself, don’t be clingy, lead. These are the principles.
Sounds like you have some healing to do. If you don’t, you will feel that way about this relationship any other future ones. You owe it to yourself.